Mistakes are... Ruff

Spelling errors.

Grammar errors.

The #1 cause of all online embarrassments, and I'd be lying if I said it never happened to me, and some of you really know that because you read this blog and know how awful my mistakes are.

Also it took most of my readers several months before someone finally pointed out that the "Ruff" in my title should be "Rough."

Now I could have made a simple change to that title and then acted like it never happened, but I didn't, so now I am going to make up an incredibly motivational story as to why I kept me title "ruff."

That typing error was a mistake, and we make mistakes. It's human nature.

I like my mistakes, because they make me who I am. My mistakes lead me to having this blog, and I am so happy I am here, because this blog has helped me find myself.

You could say all of your ex-boyfriends were a mistake but actually you learned something from everyone of those guys, and if I were you I'd be thankful I ha them in my life. 

How many relationships do most people have to go through to find the perfect person? I'll give you the answer, it's not one.

You will have to go through many relationships in your life, and that's how it should be!

Mistakes help you learn things, whether it's which your/'re to use in a sentence, or how to spot the wrong guy, it's a part of life and that is the way it is.

So I will forever keep this Blog Ruff, because I've been through many mistakes, and I want to remember them for my future, to know that I can look back on it and say either "Dude, I was so stupid" or say "I made it out of there, and now I am here."

And you will get there Diamonds.

The Only Exception

If you had to count all of the boys you've ever had a crush on, just a simple crush, how long would your list be? 

One? Two? Seven? Sixty?

Now think about every boy you've ever had a crush on, maybe some of them were just a simple "I think you're cute" kind of crush. You've probably had the "He's the cutest boy in my class who isn't a complete asshole, so I figure I'll just like him" kind of crush, the "celebrity" crush, and the "I'm on a vacation and I need eye-candy" crush.

However there is one crush that puts all other crushes to shame.

This crush is the person you would choose over all other crushes ( including Celebrity crush most of the time), this crush doesn't really have a name.

It's the one person who you have always kept in the back of your mind. Maybe you met them over summer, and you didn't go to the same school, but you have always secretly hoped to end up in the same college together.

It's the person you still have in the back of your mind, and you don't really have a reason for them to leave.

This person is like your safety blanket, you will always keep them as an option for years and years, until you one day may forget about them, but then your friend will bring up there name and they are automatically registered back into your brain.

I know I have said before that I hate pointless crushes, that I believe you should always just tell the person if you know they are somewhat interested, or you should let it go. However this situation if different. This person is the Exception.

This person is the Exception because I wouldn't want you to screw it up with this person so soon. If this person is always on your mind then you just need to take it slow, and wait for the perfect moment.

The fact that this person has stayed in the back of your mind means something, don't forget that.

#PrayForBoston

Today I was sitting down at my desk writing in my journal about upcoming events for this week. i was receiving my CNN notifications on my iPod. The little notifications where telling me who was the first man to win this years Boston marathon, the first woman, the first man from the US, the first lady from the US, after that I didn't think I'd get a notification from CNN until the Boston Marathon had completely finished.

I was wrong.

When the fifth notification came up I assumed it was about the Jodi Arais trial, which I have been following, but the notification wasn't about that. I glanced at the notification, and I only saw three words:

Bomb

Boston

Marathon

I ran to my parents bedroom where my mother was reading a book, I was in a complete panic as I frantically looked for the TV remote, and turned on CNN.

"What the hell are you doing?" My mother asked confusedly.

I didn't answer her. I didn't have to. The image on the screen of an explosion in Boston was enough to shut the both of us up.

"Oh my God, Ella is in that race."

Ella is one of my cousins, for the past couple of years she has been running in 5 ks, half marathons, and tough mudders. She always told us she would never do a marathon, and I guess she changed her mind about that because she ran in today's marathon.

My mom called up my uncle who is Ella's dad, he had heard about the news from us first. He tried to call her but he got nothing.

For the next several hours I sat in front of the Television glued to the rising numbers of injuries,22, 23, 28, 90+, 110 injured and two dead.

That could be Ella, That could be Ella, That could be Ella. Was the only thought racing through my head.

Finally I heard the door open, and it was my aunt.

Usually when a family member has to show up like this, it's bad news.

I guess this time didn't count thought because my aunt brought the news that Ella was fine. She had just made a turn on the street of the finishing line when the bombs went off. She saw and heard everything, but wasn't close enough to get hurt.

Things like this are why I believe strongly in miracles.

So Diamonds, my story has a happy ending, but not all the stories today do. Two people died today, and right now the estimated number of injuries are 130.

Maybe you don't live in Boston. Maybe you've never been there. Maybe you don't have loved ones living in Boston. But I know that if you are a true Diamond your heart is aching with ever person in Boston.

Some people lost loved ones, some people can't find their loved ones, and two people one being an eight-year-old child lost their lives today.

Pray for them Diamonds, they need it.

The Bitch Is Back

So obviously some of you might have noticed that my blog was turned private for a few days.

Last Tuesday I sort of  had a mental break down, and as a teenage girl I am entitled to one every now and then, so don't judge me.

Someone who I consider one of my closest friends said something that I'm sure was meant to be a witty comment, but actually hurt me.

The second I got my mom to pick me up from school I began to cry, and I did cry for the next four hours.

I discovered two things while I was crying,

One, I'm a really ugly crier. Kim Kardashian has nothing on me.

And Two, I haven't really cried that hard in over a year.

In the past year every time I told anyone I "sobbed" I probably cried a few tears and then was able to pull my shit together before causing a scene.

I guess that's always because of what I was told when I was little. I think I once read in a book that crying is pointless because you become so caught up in the little things, and it just makes you exhausted.

And they were right, crying does nothing to help you get over the mean things people say to you, but sometimes you have to hit rock bottom before you can get back up. Not that I'm saying I hit rock bottom on Tuesday, but I did get very upset.

Crying is for you. Crying is a method you should use to just vent, and let it all out and once your done you can regain yourself and then you can go make that person regret what ever they just said about you.

You know how they say "Success is the best revenge?"

It's true.

So the next time some one calls you "ugly", "stupid" or "a bad writer" you have my permission to cry your eyes out, but I will only let you cry your eyes out if you promise me that you are going to get back up on your feet and make them regret every single word they ever said to you.

How to (NOT) Dump A Friend

We all have that one friend who we have known for so long, and will always have a special place in our hearts for, but at one point you are smart enough to realize "This friendship just isn't going to work anymore..."

Now for some of us it's as easy as never texting them again and avoiding them in the hallways.

But, sadly, I live in a town called suburbia. A town in which children always play on the sidewalk, a town where the average house has the perfect 2-3 kids, a town where it's completely unacceptable to get anything less than an A+ on your report card, a kind of town where if you don't have a religion you are secretly looked down upon by all the soccer moms.

Also the kind of town in which you will see the same people just about everyday.

So trying to drop a person without them running into you and trying to make it work out is actually impossible.

However, one of the most unique qualities of suburbia  it that every kids goal in suburbia is to never ever go back, like if I end up becoming a teacher at my own high school, and raise a family in the exact neighborhood I live in now I might die.

So the truth is a person like me could tolerate a person for how ever many years they need to and after they leave for college, they won't have to speak to that person again.

One obvious flaw though. You have to wait years for this plan to take into effect.

Which just makes me wish that we could tell these people "Listen, it was fun at one point but lately everything you say to me is either unnecessary insults, you trying to look better than me, or just a shit load of your drama, and to be totally honest I don't want to have to deal with that anymore, so can we just be friendly with each other  Say hi in the hallways, maybe sit next to each other if there is no one else in the class we know, but I really don't want you to consider yourself so close to me because our friendship is really only making me an unhappy person."

But since us girls are so easily emotional that really can't happen, which hurts. Now you're stuck in a friendship that makes you feel like a bad person, and that isn't something you should do.

You shouldn't feel the need to be nice to someone if they make you feel bad, you don't owe it to them.