Sometimes It's One or the Other...

When I was little my mother would always tell me "Blood is thicker than water."

I understood she was trying to tell me that my family comes before my friends, and all else, but I didn't really listen.

I liked my friends more than my family when I was little. I had been hanging out with my family all my life, but   I had made new friends and they were different than my family. They had new toys, and we could talk about more things because we were both in the same classes and knew the same people.

And in some ways it's the same now. I can talk to my friends about things that I really couldn't talk to my family about like how as a teenager I feel a ridiculous amount of pressure, and I can vent to my friends about teachers, and people (usually) without any judgement.

However very recently I've been in certain cases where I choose my family over friendships I thought would last forever.

I know for a fact these people didn't think it would effect the relationship we have, but it has.

If you insult me, I'll get over it.

If you insult my friends, I'll make you regret it.

If you say things that I feel in anyway insult my family, I will promise you things will change, and you won't like the change.

Lately I have realized how lucky I am to have all of my family under one roof, and I would choose some of my family members over my life.

And I would honestly expect anyone to do the same for their family. I would understand someone choosing their family over me, because I would probably do the same.

Diamonds, I love you all, and you guys are like my family. But once you insult my family or one of their beliefs, I will turn into a New Jersey Housewife.

Random Kindness, And Some Good Ol' Carrie Bradshaw.

So yesterday might have been one of the best days ever.

But like, a really good unexpected.

My friend at my bus stop opened her back pack yesterday and handed me the DVD of Sex and the City. Her mother saw it and totally thought of me. which is just the sweetest thing.

Than my friend Ana on my bus got me a dress from her shopping spree simply because it reminded her of me.

I remember awhile back I made a blog post about random acts of kindness, and when things like that happen it brings me so much joy to know that these acts are happening, maybe not because of what i said, but just because of the goodness in someones heart.

However the best thing that happened was that yesterday was the 15th anniversary of the premier of Sex and the City ( the series).

Some of you may know me well enough to know I was tweeting about it all of yesterday.

However there is something I would like to clear up about the show.

I've heard lots of people tell me that they hate SATC, because they think it is the anti-feminist show. They see these women as completely unfeminist, like as if we went back fifty years ago.

I beg to disagree on behalf of Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte, and Samantha.

Each one of these women had their own careers, and wanted a man.

Look closely at how I used the word wanted, not needed. NO woman ever needs a man. some people need to get that through their heads, you don't ever need to be in a relationship, and that's some good advice for you boys too.

Sure Carrie longed for Mr. Big, but her life moved on without him.

So maybe we are hung up on someone, and maybe we will be for a while just like Carrie, but the truth is we move on, life move on, and the world still circles around the sun.

So you can get ride of this person, and I recommend watching SATC while doing it.

on another note- Mia Rickenbach is phenominal and miraculous.

thsank you

Making All The Same Mistakes

Relapses.

It happens to the best of us.

We promise we won't give into our old ways, or make the same mistakes, but we do.

We fall for the same lies over and over again, and our heart breaks more times than you think is humanly possible.

I guess you could say I've recently made a mistake. I fell for some ones lies again. I didn't listen to the people who loved me and told me not to go through with it.

I try not to live my life with regrets, but this I regret.

However, this won't really affect my future. I'll be able to make through this.

One day I'll see a silver lining of listening to his lies, and hurting myself.

Maybe I should look at the lesson I learned, and it's a lesson that my friends are always right, and they always want to protect me, maybe it's that once I have decided to leave him in the past that is what I should do.

I should leave him behind.

I should let him leave.

Leave on a plane to Europe with out any thoughts of me, and that's the way it should be.

Sometimes you don't want that to happen though. Sometimes you just want to hold on to the memories, because you were so happy in those memories.

And it's been a long time since you were that happy.

You really deserve to be happy, but you can be happy with him moving on with out you.

You should let them go.

You need to let them go.

I have to let Derek go.

Anything Could Happen...

Life is like one of those fun houses at those carnivals you go to every summer.

There are surprises around every corner, a few moments when your heart stops, and just like the hall of mirrors, there are moments when you can't escape yourself.

Sometimes you have days where there is so much going on in your life, and you keep it bottled up. I can't say i blame you for keeping it in. There are so many reasons why you would want to, fear of your friends finding out and judging you, fear of how people will look at you differently, and maybe you're afraid of what it might lead to.

And the truth with keeping everything so captured inside of you is that it will come out, and it can happen the easy way or the hard way.

You will either go completely insane and possible do something crazy, and odds are dangerous, to yourself or people around you. What you really need to do is to just tell a friend or a few trusted friends about what is going on in your life.

That's what I did.

I've been having some (boy) issues lately and considering everything circulating in my life right now I had to talk to someone, or someones.

I won't say the boy issue because keeping the secret is half the fun, but I;m sure a few of you reading this know.

And in regards to the issue I had a lot of friends very supportive of me, and actually glad for me, but I sadly can't say the same about all of them. I had a few friends, who weren't mad at me, but were most likely concerned for me, and probably still are.

I really can't blame them, if I had a friend going through the same thing I'm about to go through I would probably caution her.

It's truly a matter of the heart, and since mine is so fragile at this point... I can't say whats going to happen...

Dear Mr. Vernon,

Something I find rather funny happened in my second period drama class a few days ago...

We were about to watch the movie The Lorax because our teacher wasn't here, so we all started talking about all these amazing movies we have seen or really want to see.

Movies like Wreck it Ralph, Alien, The Italian Job, and movies like that. Suddenly we had this incredible idea that we should write down every movie we want to see and try to watch as many as we can as a group together over the summer and for the rest of the school year.

The List began with Slum-Dog Millionaire, and ended with Sherlock Holmes.

But the movie I found so ironic was the eighth movie that was written down. One of my all time favorite movies and a total classic, The (One and only) Breakfast Club.

In case anyone of you have been living under a rock for your entire life I strongly advise you to watch this movie, it's a must see for anyone who is going into high school/ in high school/ has been in high school/ knows what the term "high school" means.

A brief and vague summary of the movie is:

Five high school students, each experiencing different pressures form their different cliques and social groups, are forced to spend an entire Saturday in detention together. Soon realizing that they are all experiencing the same pressures from their different social groups, and their families, they become friends, and share an indescribable bond with one another.

The thing that I found so ironic about my friends in drama class wanting to watch The Breakfast Club is that, they are The Breakfast Club! There are people in my drama class that I would never talk to if I hadn't met them in that class.

And the truth is I've realized that we are all the same. We literally go through the same heartbreaks and  despair, and for what ever reason I couldn't put that together. I guess it's really easy to slap a label onto someone before getting to know them, and I regret that now.

And I know that sometimes the new friends I made get the reputation for being "weird" and "freaks," but the truth is, I'm both of those things too.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and so is weirdness I guess. I may consider one thing weird that you think is totally normal, and I might do something that you think is totally abnormal.

But you surround yourself with people who enjoy your weird stuff, or do it too.

What I'm trying to get at here is that in life, you need to surround yourself with people who are just as weird as you.

You need to find the people who will always be there for you and love you no matter what even if they are

A Brain

An Athlete

A Basket Case

A Princess

Or A Criminal.

They'll Be Girls Across the Nation That'll Eat This Up...

Ten inches of long blonde hair are gone off my head, and I couldn't tell you how much I love it!

I had a friend who donated fourteen inches of her hair to Locks of Love, and she warned me about the depressing "I miss my long hair!" stage I might go through sometime in  the first couple of weeks I have my short hair.

However I haven't had that stage yet, and I think I know why...

The other day in English class we were given the opportunity to free write (A lot of my friends hate free writing, but I secretly take any chance in class to write, so when the teacher tells me to write I think it's fabulous). My teacher always gives us topics to write about, but I can never relate to them, and I suck at topic writings, but my friend Maddie said, "Write about your hair cut!"

Well, how could I pass up the opportunity to write about my "fab" new hair?

As the writer I am I decided not to write a "My hair is so cute! Blah blah blah" piece. Instead I kept my piece rather vague, but underneath it all it was about the hair cut.

Read a little of it won't you?

"Now that it is done, I have no regrets.
                                I did it for love, and love is all I have received."

That's really all I can remember off the top of my head.

But the whole point of it is that I did it for love. I did it because I love Sally, and I wanted to do this to honor her, and a little bit because I was getting sick of my split ends...

As Sara Bareilles puts it "Only one good thing worth trying to be, and it's love."

Diamonds, you need to surround yourself with love.

People who are full of love, things you love, and the actions you do that should be an act of love.

I don't miss my old hair because I know someone out there is going to be so excited when they get my hair that I don't have the time to second guess myself in what I did, and because I have been told that Sally would be wicked proud of me, and I think she is.

So Diamonds, I have a new challenge for you,

Do one thing every day, and it has to be something you love. Hang out with a friend, take a nap, read a good book, eat some fro yo! Do what ever makes you happy, but do a different thing everyday so you don't get bored of it.

Each and everyone of you deserves a beautiful life, but you have to make it beautiful yourself and I can't help you with that. I can only give you the idea.

The Land of Social Unknown

Yesterday was National Best Friend Day, and it got me thinking about this past weekend.

I had spent the majority of my weekend hanging out with my friends for a performance, I was acting, dancing, laughing talking, ushering, and over all having the best time of my life.

After the Sunday performance and taking down set I had realized that this group of people had completely distracted me from the fact that Sally had been dead for almost an entire year.

So it got me thinking about what a best friend truly is...

I remember when I was in the second grade there were all these "Rules" about having a best friend.

-You could only have one BFF

-You could only have 2-5 Best friends

-Everyone else was just a friend

Looking back I laugh at those rules, because there are no true rules to friendship.

Going back to my friends from this weekend, if you looked at all of us individually you would never think that we would be so close.

You would categorize us in little circles the pretty girls, the loner, the misunderstood kid, the kid who thinks he is too cool, the diva, the girl who will remain hung up on her ex boyfriend forever, the smart kids, the beautiful boys, etc, etc

And whats amazing is when we come together none of those stereotypes matter. Everyone is there to be happy and love each other.

I see my friends from this performance in the hall ways and wave to them or have a short conversation with them, and whom ever I am walking with will say to me, "You're friends with them?" in like a "How is this socially possible?" way.

it has never bothered me when people ask me that question. If anything, it flatters me and makes me happy, because that means I have done something that hasn't really been done, and I love that I might be venturing out into the land of social-unknown.

So Diamonds, go out into the world and make friends, befriend the people who you have heard all of the nasty rumors about and form an opinion for yourself.

It takes more than just me to defy all the social stereotypes!