Anti-Bullying Month

I've been wanting to write a post about bullying since the beginning of this month, since it is national anti-bullying month. I had been waiting for the right time to do it, but today seems like the perfect day since I was in fact bullied today.

Lets start today with an interesting statistic, did you know studies show 50% of children don't want to go to school simply because they feel bullied, and unsafe? I personally never understood this study until today.

Now I wont go into detail about the conversation, but I will tell you it, but ended with her laughing at me. Not with me, but AT me. I literally felt like the laughing lasted five minutes. It hurt, because I was talking about something important to me, but she just kept laughing at me. The worst part was up until today I considered her to literally be one of my closest friends, she stuck with me throughout my Sally crisis last year, and I valued her friendship and opinion over a lot of peoples.

I still want to be her friend and I did talk to her about it over text today as to why she laughed at me, I couldn't say it to her face because I would have probably cried, and if there is one thing I never do it's cry in front of people.

The incident happened in the beginning of the day, so for the entire day I was completely zoned-out. I was angry at her for laughing at me, but over-all I was angry at myself. I had a million thoughts run through my head, all of which were completely wrong "Maybe I should just stop being friends with her" "Maybe I should stop valuing peoples friendships so much, they all end anyways" or "I should just go home." When that last thought came to mind I realized that I had been bullied, and I had become a statistic. I wanted to go home, because I had been hurt.

However I knew better than to stop being friends with this girl, sure, our friendship probably won't ever be the same again. I saw a different side of her today that I didn't even knew existed, but I'm not going to drop her cold-turkey.

And I have this blog to thank for that. I think I am beginning to realize that this blog is actually helping me. If it were a year ago I would have ignored my friend for saying things like what she said to me today, but instead i talked to her, and admitting our friendship won't return to what it was is pure honesty. I don't know if I ever want that to happen again to me, so I'll protect myself from not letting it happen.

What I want you to take away from this blog is simply this: Please think about the tings you say, and when you make a mistake do your best to give a sincere apology, not a half-ass one.

Remember that we are all diamonds, but our hearts can be made of glass, and those shatter easily.