So Long 2012!

Sorry if you thought I was dead, and I know you all find this hard to believe but I have a life outside of my blog...

Anyways my Diamonds I hope you all had a very merry Christmas!

So many people are talking about their favorite moments of 2012, and I figured I would join the band wagon and post a few of my favorite moments of the past year.

First of all my favorite personal moment by far was getting my Anderson Cooper birthday card! It's kind of sad in a way because I will never have a moment as great as that!

My favorite national moment is when Maine and Maryland legalized same-sex marriage! And by the way the first male couple to be wed in Maine got married over the weekend! Woohoo!

Now on to my favorite international story, when Malala Yousefzai was attacked on her bus because of what she wrote in her blog about a women's educational rights. Now it may seem strange that I picked that as a favorite moment, but I did because her voice in her blog must have been so strong that someone honestly felt threatened by her. She is honestly my hero, and the fact that she survived the gunshots was also astounding.

Even over all of those things something I really valued about this year is this blog. I am so lucky to have people like you who read it and talk to me about it! I love hearing all of your feed back! You are all amazing and made my year one of the best!

So my Diamonds, please try and look back on this year as a good one. I know a lot of recent tragedies may have you thinking otherwise, but I think it's important to look at the positive side of things. Being happy isn't a bad thing.

Have a happy 2013 my Diamonds!

A Smile a Day

Well Diamonds I would like to begin this post with a big thank you! I am just about to reach 2,000 readers and it makes me so proud to know that my Diamonds care this much!

By the way, I am hoping all of you who survived the apocalypse we just had. However I hope you still are living out your dreams like there is no tomorrow.

Today I would like to talk about the power of giving a simple compliment to someone.

Maybe some of you are here because you saw the compliment someone gave me about this blog, so welcome, but I just want to make the point that compliments can change someone's day completely.

For example when I went on my Facebook page today I saw a compliment someone gave me about my blog. Had you asked me "Hey Phoebe, how was your day today?" I would have probably said, "good I guess, I went to the super market" which as you all know four gallons of water and a bag of dried cranberries isn't really that eventful.

If someone were to ask me that question now I would probably say something along the lines of "today may just be one of the best days ever!"

That my seem like a lot just because often anonymous compliment via Internet but honestly it really made me happy. Think of it this way: some one took the time out of their day to focus their energy on you, and how you make their life special.

That may seem, too, like I made it a big deal but that's how I feel about it. And it's true.

If I ever see someone who looks the slightest bit unhappy I like to compliment on their shoes or something. It may not make that big of a difference to how their day is actually going, but it makes them smile. My goal is to make one person smile everyday. It's what I like to live by.

So, Diamonds, go out into the world today and make someone smile. Go spread Your diamond perfection.

Twenty Seconds

Oh, my sweet little Diamonds...

I'm sure you are all pretty sick from hearing "OH MY GAD THE WORLD IS GOING TO END!"

Trust me. I am with you on that. I'm just as sick of hearing it all the time.

However, lets just pretend the world actually is going to end tonight. Let's pretend the Mayans actually calculated leap year, and we are all about to live out our last few hours.

What would you do?

I would probably say all of the things I never got a chance to.

I have a friend, and as a precaution in case the world does actually end, he went to spend this week in India, he always wanted to visit there, and he couldn't think of a better time than now!

I would do that, if I had the money and time.

But I want you to really think, what would you do? What would you tell people? In our last moments who matters the most?

My family matters the most to me. I would spend my last few hours with them, after the few phone calls I would make.

Now I would like to throw in a quote here, a quote which I live by, "If you knew you wouldn't fail at anything today, what would you do? Now, go out and do it."

I do recognize that I am practically paraphrasing a Matt Damon movie by saying this, but if you give yourself just one moment of insane bravery and courage, you won't fail.

If I could tell you one thing I have learned in this past year, especially in these last few months I would tell you that when you are given an opportunity, take it. If it sounds crazy, it will be but trust me you will thank yourself for it later!

Now, go tell all of those people everything you wish you had said, go dance in the rain, sing in public, and give yourself 20 seconds of courage.

But it's Just a Little Lie?

I hate making decisions that will possibly hurt someone. Which is why I have become the queen of excuses. Or I think I have...

Anyways. Sometimes there are things you want to tell people, but in a way it might hurt somebody.

For example I had made plans with a certain friend of mine this weekend, and I had every intention of keeping that promise. I wanted to go help her take pictures for her instagram account (@chasing_creativity), but I got a text message at around 7 am.

I don't want to go into detail about that text, because I could write a whole other post about that.

That text message lead to an important day of events, so by the time I had gotten out of my house I had forgotten all about the plans. It wasn't until about three hours later I looked at my phone and realized she texted me.

My stomach immediately dropped and I felt awful. I panicked and told her I had slept in really late.

Sweetie, if you are reading this, I feel terrible, I'll make it up to you I promise sweetie.

My point of this all is, a little white lie may seem like the perfect quick fix, but telling a lie is like planting a seed. And honey, at one point you may find yourself in a garden full of lies. Thankfully, I haven't ever been there.

Please don't play they "I've never lied before" card. Because that is a lie in it's self.

I believe that almost every girl has at one point made up a boy. Not exactly a boyfriend, but we may have invented a boy, one that found us perfectly attractive.

When I was in the sixth grade I made up a boyfriend, simply because I did not want a certain boy following me around all the time, so I made up a boyfriend whom I meat at a wedding, and he lived in Maine. I honestly thought I had a pretty good background story and everything.

I remember talking to my friend Maria about him, and some kid next to me brought up about Maria meeting a boy too. I was excited to listen about this boy, but she flat out admitted that she made up that boy. However she turned to me and said, "But I'm like actually really happy for you and you meeting that boy!"

I just remember thinking "How Ironic is this?" I almost laughed. But of course I couldn't dot that.

Eventually I told everyone that the boy from Maine was a lie, besides there are not cute boys in Maine. I'm surprised no one pointed that out (Sorry for all my Maine friends!).

Point is, if you tell a lie try to clean ti up as soon as possible, or else you begin to live in a lie. Living in a lie will make you lose yourself, and you're clearly perfect. You're a Diamond!

Fact vs. Fiction: Do you Research.

I had a post drafted all about how our fears change from when we are little to when we are older. In it I briefly mention that while I was in the second grade I had the biggest fear of a man with a gun. In my draft I wrote about how silly I was to worry about that. But I wasn't and as you are probably, thinking I know I was an idiot for saying something like that.

There probably isn't a person in this world who hasn't heard about the shooting in New Town CT. When I first heard about it I was with my friends walking to Chipotle. One of my friends simply said "did you hear about the shooting in CT?" I hadn't but my other friend had so she simply said "yeah"

Do you want to know why I didn't say anything after that? Why I didn't question what this shooting was about? It's because in the back of my mind I literally thought "Oh it's just another shooting" I regret ever thinking that.

Mass shootings cannot become this social norm for our society.

There were twenty children between the ages of six and seven that died yesterday. My godchild Jackson is close to that age, and if this had ever happened to him I would have probably died.

Now I can go on and on about how devastated I was when I heard the news, or about how this is going to make me rethink our gun laws in America, but I won't.

Today I want to talk to you about the truth.

This story is the most upsetting thing I have heard of in years, maybe even ever, so my question is why are so many people making up other stories to go along with it?

Why did someone write a fake letter that a girl name Ellie supposedly wrote to her father while the gunman was in her classroom? Why was there a viral picture on twitter saying that there were 34 dead, and that the Red Cross would donate money to the families?

Newsflash: The gunman would have not given the children enough time to write letters to their parents. And if you spent anytime watching the news you would know that 27 total people had died, not 34. Also how is the Red Cross suppose to know how many times that photo was shared?

Please do your research before you spread some stupid post. Some people in this world really only want to get famous and have attention, so they will make up crap like this just for likes on a photo, or maybe a hundred new followers.

It sickens mean if you use the death of 20 children to get publicity. You can go straight to Hell.

So on Monday I want all of us to wear Green and White (Which are the schools colors, I did my research) in memory of those heroic teachers that passed and for those innocent faces of little children that did not make it.

There are ways we can help those people, The Red Cross is actually helping, they are setting up therapy stations, and giving food and water to the first responders.  There are many ways you can help if you just choose to do your research.

And if anything on the Internet ever seems questionable, please just don't share it. You can go the extra mile like me and just report it.

What are Your Hopes and Dreams?

If you know me well than you know that my biggest fear is that when I grow up I will be unhappy.

I always worry that I will end up behind a desk or staying at home everyday watching a bunch of children.

There's nothing wrong with being a stay at home mom, I just know for a fact it's not for me.

I know I have made a post before about how what ever made you happiest as a child probably still makes you just as happy.

But I have an even easier way to figure out what you want to do, so please fill on the banks to these two statements:

"If I could do anything for the rest of my life I would ____"

" I am happiest when I am ___"

Now I know it may seem very silly and probably very obvious but it's just so true.

If I could keep this blog up for the rest of my life I would. I would write to my Diamonds every single day and remind you of all the things you can do.

My dream, as unrealistic as it is, is that one day Seventeen.com would discover my blog and invite me as an intern to spend the summer with them in New York.

I know the reality of that us slim, but if there's one thing I want my diamonds to keep doing its dreaming. I don't ever want you to lose hope.

I've learned that hope is always right around the corner, no matter how far it may seem, it's really just right out of  your reach.

What if the Roles Were Reveresed?

On my way to school today I had a funny thought:

What if the rolls of a boy and girl were reversed?

What if girls were the ones who performed grand, romantic acts?

And what if boys were the ones who spent hours in front of a mirror everyday?

Now after thinking this I had the image of every boy in the world laughing and shaking their heads at me, but as a feminist it is something to consider.

Why is it girls can't go to extreme measure, like throwing pebbles at a window, without seeming like a stalker?

Why was it when Carrie Bradshaw showed up at Aden's doorstep it was strange? But when he shows up to hers they run up stairs and have sex?

I think this is because women would do it so much better than men.

That or when men try to perform these acts, we don't reward them enough.

Now I'm not saying you should pat them on the head and hand them a bone. I'm saying a "Thank you" wouldn't hurt!

Maybe most men just don't do these types of things and they hate Hollywood and Disney for leading us to these expectations about them!

However I personally think we, as women, could probably make the first move, and plan a special date for the boy or get him a nice gift.

Then the ball is in his hands and he has to get us something really nice.

Derek: Part 3

Remember that incredibly embarrassing voice mail I left for Derek?

Remember how I prayed to God he wouldn't call back?

He did.

On my birthday (which was Saturday by the way! I'm posting about that later, this takes priority over that). Sadly I was at the movies seeing "Life of Pi," So his call went to voice mail.

His voicemail was very smart. a simply "Hey Pheebs. It's Derek. Got your call, it made me laugh. Good to hear from you. Call me back when you get the chance."

Why the hell couldn't I have thought of that? I bet that's a guy gene "The ability to leave perfect voice mails." I'll bet it's in that special Y cromosone that us girls don't get. Anyways...

After listening to his voice mail on Saturday night debated for three days whether or not I should call him back. So I went to my trusted friend Kate with the question.

"If you, like, call someone and leave a terribly awkward voice mail, and then they call you back, but you miss it, should you call them back? I'm so terrible at these things..."

"why don't you just call this person at a time in which they cannot pick up? Then they have to worry about calling you back."

Ugh. Kate is such a genius it bothers me.

However her idea was perfect so I called up Derek Tuesday night, at a time which I thought would be inconvenient.

I was wrong.

Turns out Derek is completely free during the 4 o'clock hour. Like any fucking normal person. I'm such a blond.

So like the idiot I am my first words were "You weren't suppose to pick up the phone."

That is such a great way to start the conversation. Not.

However, Derek being the perfect boy that he is did not care, he laughed it off, and began a conversation with me.

I'm not going to go into perfect detail about our conversation right now simply because that would make this post very long.

I can tell you something brief that we discussed.

I told him, "Honestly, I'm not so sure as to whether I miss you, or I just miss summer."

Now I know that sounds harsh, but trust me Derek is the kind of guy who doesn't get offended easily.

He's also the kind of guy who is very confident, because he flat-out said that he just missed me.

Which honestly really shocked me. So of course I change the conversation as quickly as I could.

All of a sudden I realized, it was like nothing had changed. It was July 20th again, and Derek and I were just talking. Except this time we were far apart and not right next to each other.

The second I hung up the phone I realized, that I did actually miss Derek. I missed his curly hair, his smile, his crappy taste in music, and his stupid shoes.

I also realized that in life there are perfect moments.

And now is not my moment to be with Derek.

The Simple Magic of a Penny.

This morning I woke up and immediately wanted to the day to be over.

Today marks six months from when Sally died.

Which seems crazy to me, I felt like I just talked to her one the phone yesterday, I can still hear her laughter in my head. I can still remember every conversation we had in which I had to say "Sally please stop, I love you, but that is too much information..." (Sally was a very open person, she would tell you anything, even if you didn't want to hear it. Like the one time she told me about how Chemo sends you into an early menopause...)

I rolled out of bed and hit my alarm, and I had no idea how I would get through the rest of the day. Would I be able to see all of my friends without being a downer?

I spent so much time thinking about how I would make it through the day, and remembering Sally that I ended up looking like complete crap today.

I didn't tell that many people about today's sorrowful significance, just two people, whom both gave me their best wishes.

I may have mentioned this before when I first wrote about Sally, but after her death I literally see her everywhere.I see her in all of the little things, for example, today I was walking to lunch; and I knew lunch would be one of the hardest things to get through today. I didn't think I was ready to see my friends, it's not like they would harass me or anything, I just knew I wasn't myself today. However on my way walking to lunch I saw a something shiny on the ground, so I look at it, and it's a penny heads-up.

I smiled, and picked it up. This was Sally's sign that I would be just fine.

Maybe some of you laugh at me or smirk when I say that I knew Sally did this, but I do. I know it sounds childish, like believing in fairies or something, but this is diff rent. I don't expect anyone to understand, and mostly because I don't want you to. I don't ever want someone to go through losing their best friend. Odds are it will eventually happen, but I don't want it to happen.

So I just want my friends to note: If you didn't understand why I kept on going on-and-on about the penny I found on the ground today, that's why.

This day was hard to get through, considering I knew I had to call Mark up later in the day which I knew we would both sob unconditionally, but I got through the day.

And know I think that, with Sally's signs, I can get through anything.

Derek: Part 2

So I have been telling you all that I haven't had any time to call up Derek.

Today I made time.

My mother left the house to get a turkey for Thanksgiving, and my sister was glued to the TV downstairs.

Every time I look at my desk and see the sticky note with his number written on it I get very anxious, and all I want to do is dial the number and see him again. I want to go back to summer when I was careless and didn't have the stress of homework, or test grades. I wanted to be able to laugh with him about the annoying people sitting in front of us at the movie theatre. I wanted to forget what it was to have to wake up every morning and worry about what people think of you.

With the memory of our laughter in my head I picked up the phone and called him, without having prepared anything.

And if you know me well, you probably know that I don't make haste decisions. I like to plane, so picking up this phone and dialing with out thinking was probably one of the dumbest moves I have ever made.

And then the phone rang, and it rang again, and again, and at the fourth ring I realized I had no fucking idea what I was going to do! Should I leave a message? Or hang up? If I hang up he'll ignore the call, but if I leave I'm a message he'll probably call back, unless he doesn't want to talk to me again....

So while contemplating all the possibilities I had, the phone went straight to his voice mail, "Hey it's Derek, leave me a message at the beep!"

His voice sounded so familiar.

Beep

Shit.

"Uh, hey, it's Phoebe... I know, I'm back from the dead ha ha.... Anyways I just wanted to call you up and see how life is going... sorry if this is really weird and awkward. I totally get it, so call me back. Unless it's a bother, then don't. Or just call me back when you need to-want to! OK I have embarrassed myself. I'm hanging up now. bye."

It was probably the worse forty-three seconds of my life.

I hit the end button and slammed my palm against my forehead. What the hell was I thinking? "Back from the dead?" He knows I hate zombies! And admitting I was embarrassed over the phone? Smooth...

There is no way Derek is calling me back.

But a girl can only hope, right?

I Can Overlook Opportunities, No Probem.

Alright, so my last post might have been confusing to some of you.

It was confusing to me too.

it was a fortune I got from fortune cookie, and frankly it made no sense to me. Lets look into it, shall we?

First off it begins with the words "Be tactful" which usually mean using my brain, and being clever, right? Then it says "overlook your own opportunity."

Overlooking is to look over something, as in ignore it, and opportunity is suppose to be a good thing.

So why would I overlook something that's good for me? How is that tactful in anyway?

Perhaps it is something I view as an opportunity, but underneath a mask it's a misfortune. When I pondered the thought it suddenly made sense to me! All this time something that I thought was fate, destiny, and a stroke of luck; actually turned out to be a complete trouble-case.

I received this fortune from the cookie last Sunday night.

The day after my run-in with Dick.

Does this cookie make sense to you now?

I spend all this time wondering "What does this mean?" "Is this my sign?" Blah. Blah. Freaking blah.

Remember when I asked for those signs from God about Dick? I said to him  "When I'm ready send me a sign, anything!"

Well I think that was my sign, and he sent me because I was ready. Ready to say no.

I can honestly say that I have no tender feelings for Dick anymore. Sure, next time I run into him I will probably freak out, It's only normal protocol for me.

But I'll get over it by the next day. I'm a Diamond, I've been through worse.

What?

Fortune Cookie says:

"Be tactful: Overlook you own opportunity."

Derek: Part 1

First off, I would just like to say that I did reach 1,000 views last Friday! Shout-out to all my Diamonds for the support! I don't exactly know why, but you all seem to love my blog! So thanks!

Anyways, even though I views those 1,000 views as a total blessing, it's kind of a curse on my part...

Because now I have to do my "1,000-views post!" Which is weird for me because I don't exactly know how to begin this one... simply because I usually only share personal details about myself if someone asks. Then again, most of you have been asking...

So I am going to talk about what went on this summer for me, since I have been kind of hinting at it for a while...

I met this boy originally over spring break, but I didn't really get to know him until this past summer. His name is Derek, the first time I ever met him I was carrying three giant boxes, so I couldn't see in front of me, that's when my boss decided to introduce us. I remember her words perfectly "This is Phoebe, she's the one behind all of these boxes." I remember the first time I heard him laugh, I smiled immediately, even though he couldn't see it.

However, I didn't see his face until the next day. That's when I knew I liked him, he wasn't an abercrombie model, he wasn't one of those boys all the girls secretly have a crush on, he was just an everyday average hipster. He wasn't exactly fond of it when I called him that, but I always did.

We didn't keep in touch after Spring break, but when I went back for the summer I was a different person from when I saw him last.

This time when I saw him I was heartbroken from a recent run-in with Dick. Derek, however, being the sweetheart that he is knew just how to cheer me up, he took me out to lunch while everyone else was in a meeting. He just made me laugh and smile, and suddenly Dick was a thing of the past! Dick who?

After my few short days at the job Derek and I began emailing each other back and forth. I would sit on my laptop for hours waiting for his emails while I took quizzes on Seventeen.com. After a day or two of emailing each other like crazy, we came upon the idea that we should "date." Now I say "date" because we knew that because we went to different schools a long-distance relationship wouldn't work out, so we figured by the time summer was coming to an end we would break-up, and hats what was agreed, and that's what happened.

Now, I'm not going to go into a huge bunch of detail about all of the dates and things we did on my blog, simply because I would go on and on and no one wants to hear about that.

Oh! By the way, simply telling you all of this wasn't my 1,000 reads thing!

I recently got his number off of my friends cell phone, she had his number because he was one of her coworkers. I told another friend of mine, Alice, about it. She was begging my to call him, so I promised her that after I reached 1,000 views on my blog I would call him.

Now I haven't called him yet, simply because I haven't had any alone time since my blog reached 1,000 views, and I need alone time because I don't want to be talking to this boy and have my mom knock on the door yelling "Phoebe! You forgot to pick up your towel off of the bathroom floor!"

I would die if he heard my mother say that to me. Especially since I haven't seen him in three months.

OK Diamonds, I know lots of you will be freaking out tomorrow asking me why I didn't tell you all of this before, but I want you to stay calm. I will answer all of your questions- within reason.

And wish me luck for my phone call! Whenever that may be...

Happiness is Linked to Preschool

There was one particularly upsetting afternoon in May, in which I didn't know what I would do with myself. I was lonely and depressed, Sally had just died and I just couldn't make myself happy.

So I did what most teenagers do when they don't know what to do with themselves, I sat down in front of the TV and flipped through channels.

I randomly came across a popular children's show. So I watched it.

Normally I would have felt like an idiot watching red and yellow puppets dance across the screen trying to teach me the alphabet, but that day was different.

It was different because I remembered how happy this show, and shows like it, would make me when I was younger.

Then I began to ponder my childhood, I remembered lots of finger paintings and ear-infections ( I had an ear-infection every other month, I wasn't so charmed).  I also remembered how much I loved to write, and how much I loved to make up stories.

So I quickly turned off the television and went straight to my room. I pulled out my "writing box" from underneath my bed and began to draft a story.

Now please don't ask me what the story was about, because it's very childish. It was a story I began writing in elementary school and never finished, but I began to write it again, and I remembered how happy it made me.

It's been said that you learn something new everyday, well that day I learned that if you look back onto your childhood, and if you remember what made you happiest. It probably still makes you just as happy.

Don't you remember how easy and silly finger painting was? Wasn't it the highlight of your preschool years to play with the kitchen set? Or did you love dressing up as a ballerina, Cinderella, or a garbage man?

I'm not implying that all of you guys are depressed and unhappy and need to go back to preschool.

I'm saying if you are every upset or (god forbid) as upset as I was that day, try to remember what always makes you happy.

Odds are it still does.

Fate, Stars, and One Broken Heart.

Have you ever wondered if you life is predetermined?

Is there someone out there that knows your future, but you still have to go through it?

Do you ever look up to the stars and say a prayer?

Don't worry this post won't just be a questionnaire, I'm actually about to make a point.

First a quick intro, back in middle school I had my heartbroken by a boy who I had the biggest crush on ever. So this boy (lets call him Dick) found out I liked him, and then avoided me like crazy, and had seven girlfriends in one month. ANYWAYS...

I was so heart broken ( and kind of stupid) that I would pray to God every night for a sign,

"God, or anyone that really cares to listen actually, can you give me a sign? Can you show me if this boy and I are meant to be together? You don't have to give it to me right away, you can wait until you think I'm ready, I just really have to know."

So after about a few months of that I get over it, I figure nothing is going to happen, so I move on. I ran into Dick in the very beginning of the summer, which probably would have sent me into a hysteric, but I think I had a pretty good distraction this summer, so I didn't put much thought into my Dick run-in.

However over this past weekend I ran into Mr. Big. I know you're either thinking "whoopee, big effing deal, you probably see the kid everywhere." or you're really excited. Let me just add on to those emotions you have my saying this - I saw him 100 miles away from where I live.

Now, here I am staying up late on a Sunday night with a million different emotions going through my head, Is this the sign i was asking for? or Am I ready for this sign? and the ever important What does this all mean?

Now I like to believe in William Shakespeare when he said “It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves.”

I like to think that I have complete control over my life, but I don't. I don't think anyone really does.

So I guess a girl is left to wonder, in a neighborhood where I can barley even see the stars, how do I know if they hold my fate?

Do you even know her?

I don't think I have been specific enough when I refer to people as "Diamonds."

"I believe every person is strong and beautiful like a diamond."

Key words: Strong and Beautiful

I want to focus mostly on beauty, because strength really speaks for itself.

A diamond is see-through, it's both beautiful on the outside as it is the inside. So if you are a very pretty girl on the outside, (which every single one of you is, I don't care what anyone else thinks of you.) that doesn't directly mean that you are instantly beautiful on the inside. I know a lot of pretty girls who are complete bitches.

If you do not know a person you have no right to judge anything about them.

I mean ANYTHING. I don't care if it looks like they haven't re-dyed their hair in three months! Maybe they can't afford root-touch up.

I would like to use my cousin Sally as an example in this topic.

I probably didn't mention that Sally was raped at the age of 15, by her creepy ex-boyfriend. During those years Sally had gotten mixed up with the wrong kind of people. So she ended up dating an asshole who was addicted to drugs, but I digress.

Sally, being pro-choice, knew she had the option of getting ride of the child. She did not take any action to want the child, so I personally thought she had every right to not have the baby. However Sally's thought was bringing a child into the world would help her redirect her attention away from all of the bad things she had been doing.

She told me being pregnant with her son was one of the hardest things she ever had to go through. She told me when her and her mother went shopping for maternity clothes she got the dirtiest looks from girls her age at the mall. When she went to church the elderly ladies gave her stares that went right through her soul.

Yes eventually some people did figure out the situation and changed their opinions on her.

But should they have assumed that first before they judge Sally like that? Sally was going to have a baby that she had every right to give up, but she didn't and frankly that should make her a hero.

Do you think she felt like a hero while she was walking through the mall with girls laughing at her? Do you think she felt like a hero when she walked through the school hallways and boys and girls would shout out "Sally the slut?"

No. She didn't. She felt like she had made the wrong decision and that she should give up this child, and she actually almost did. Looking back on it if I could find those girls who called her those names, and who laughed about her behind her back, I might want to hurt them, because of them I almost didn't get my godson Jackson.

So if I ever hear someone saying "I saw this girl today..." I'll ask the person if they know this girl, and if they don't I will judge them.

I will judge you if you judge a person you do not know.

Only exception: If they are wearing a Yankees shirt.

19 things to stop doing, Now.

 

1. Stop placing all the blame on other people for how they interact with you. To an extent, people treat you the way you want to be treated. A lot of social behavior is cause and effect. Take responsibility for (accept) the fact that you are the only constant variable in your equation.

2. Stop being lazy by being constantly “busy.” It’s easy to be busy. It jus...

tifies never having enough time to clean, cook for yourself, go out with friends, meet new people. Realize that every time you give in to your ‘busyness,’ it’s you who’s making the decision, not the demands of your job.

3. Stop seeking out distractions. You will always be able to find them.

4. Stop trying to get away with work that’s “good enough.” People notice when “good enough” is how you approach your job. Usually these people will be the same who have the power to promote you, offer you a health insurance plan, and give you more money. They will take your approach into consideration when thinking about you for a raise.

5. Stop allowing yourself to be so comfortable all the time. Coming up with a list of reasons to procrastinate risky, innovative decisions offers more short-term gratification than not procrastinating. But when you stop procrastinating to make a drastic change, your list of reasons to procrastinate becomes a list of ideas about how to better navigate the risk you’re taking.

6. Stop identifying yourself as a cliche and start treating yourself as an individual. Constantly checking your life against a prewritten narrative or story of how things “should” be is a bought-into way of life. It’s sort of like renting your identity. It isn’t you. You are more nuanced than the narrative you try to fit yourself into, more complex than the story that “should” be happening.

7. Stop expecting people to be better than they were in high school — learn how to deal with it instead. Just because you’re out of high school doesn’t mean you’re out of high school. There will always be people in your life who want what you have, are threatened by who you are, and will ridicule you for doing something that threatens how they see their position in the world.

8. Stop being stingy. If you really care about something, spend your money on it. There is often a notion that you are saving for something. Either clarify what that thing is or start spending your money on things that are important to you. Spend money on road trips. Spend money on healthy food. Spend money on opportunities. Spend money on things you’ll keep.

9. Stop treating errands as burdens. Instead, use them as time to focus on doing one thing, and doing it right. Errands and chores are essentially rote tasks that allow you time to think. They function to get you away from your phone, the internet, and other distractions. Focus and attention span are difficult things to maintain when you’re focused and attentive on X amount of things at any given moment.

10. Stop blaming yourself for being human. You’re fine. Having a little anxiety is fine. Being scared is fine. Your secrets are fine. You’re well-meaning. You’re intelligent. You’re blowing it out of proportion. You’re fine.

11. Stop ignoring the fact that other people have unique perspectives and positions. Start approaching people more thoughtfully. People will appreciate you for deliberately trying to conceive their own perspective and position in the world. It not only creates a basis for empathy and respect, it also primes people to be more open and generous with you.

12. Stop seeking approval so hard. Approach people with the belief that you’re a good person. It’s normal to want the people around you to like you. But it becomes a self-imposed burden when almost all your behavior toward certain people is designed to constantly reassure you of their approval.

13. Stop considering the same things you’ve always done as the only options there are. It’s unlikely that one of the things you’ll regret when you’re older is not having consumed enough beer in your 20s, or not having bought enough $5 lattes, or not having gone out to brunch enough times, or not having spent enough time on the internet. Fear of missing out is a real, toxic thing. You’ve figured out drinking and going out. You’ve experimented enough. You’ve gotten your fill of internet memes. Figure something else out.

14. Stop rejecting the potential to feel pain. Suffering is a universal constant for sentient beings. It is not unnatural to suffer. Being in a constant state of suffering is bad. But it is often hard to appreciate happiness when there’s nothing to compare it to. Rejecting the potential to suffer is unsustainable and unrealistic.

15. Stop approaching adverse situations with anger and frustration. You will always deal with people who want things that seem counter to your interests. There will always be people who threaten to prevent you from getting what you want by trying to get what they want. This is naturally frustrating. Realize that the person you’re dealing with is in the same position as you — by seeking out your own interests, you threaten to thwart theirs. It isn’t personal — you’re both just focused on getting different things that happen to seem mutually exclusive. Approach situations like these with reason. Be calm. Don’t start off mad, it’ll only make things more tense.

16. Stop meeting anger with anger. People will make you mad. Your reaction to this might be to try and make them mad. This is something of a first-order reaction. That is, it isn’t very thoughtful — it may be the first thing you’re inclined to do. Try to suppress this reaction. Be thoughtful. Imagine your response said aloud before you say it. If you don’t have to respond immediately, don’t.

17. Stop agreeing to do things that you know you’ll never actually do. It doesn’t help anyone. To a certain extent, it’s a social norm to be granted a ‘free pass’ when you don’t do something for someone that you said you were going to do. People notice when you don’t follow through, though, especially if it’s above 50% of the time.

18. Stop ‘buying’ things you know you’ll throw away. Invest in friendships that aren’t parasitic. Spend your time on things that aren’t distractions. Put your stock in fleeting opportunity. Focus on the important.

19. Stop being afraid.

 

I saw this list posted on my Facebook wall today my TBL, I reealized that it pretty much sums up a lot of the things I want to do in life,

 

so stop doing all of the things,

 

and START being a Diamond.

Judgement Day

Have you ever looked at a person, and just immediately hated them?

I have, I've looked at a girl many times before and my first subconscious thought is "She's really pretty, she must be a bitch, OK I hate her."

I still do it, I guess I feel "better safe than sorry" I don't want to assume she's nice and then have her make fun of me, I'd rather just make her a bitch in my mind and then when she turns out to be nice I'll be pleasantly surprised.

Odds are I will continue to do that in the future, but lets look into this stereotyping...

I want you to think of a few of your friends, it'd be best if you just recently met them. Now, what was your first impression of them?

When I first saw my friend Chips during the first day of ninth grade, I immediately thought to myself "Ugh she's a bitch, look at her perfectly colored blonde hair..." but once I actually started to get to know her, I found out that she is the farthest thing from a bitch! She is one of the funniest and craziest people I have ever met! And I am so happy that I met her.

Now I want you to do something different, I want you to take a different friend and I want you to pretend you aren't friends, now what would you think about this person? By the way he/she dresses or looks, or things you would have heard about this friend?

I worry that if people don't know me they assume I'm some kind of freak, which isn't bad because I would own being a freak. However it is difficult being judged, it hurts to know people would stick a label on you before you even got to know them.

And wouldn't you want to hurt anyone who would stereotype your best friend?

So before you stereotype the next person you see at the mall, at the library, or in your chemistry class, please try to think first "That's somebodies best friend. That person has a mother. I don't know what that person has been through in life, am I at a right to stick a label on them like that?"

Table For One Please

Now, honestly, some people make a really big deal about the idea of being single, but honestly it's not that big of a deal.

"forever alone" has got to be one of the funniest memes ever, I love seeing how unhappy that little face is every time the picture above him is a couple holding hands. I find it hilarious, and because I can relate to it in a non-"omg my life is so sad and single" way.

Honestly I would rather be single than be that girl who has dated at least 56 boys because she is terrified of being alone for one Friday night. Everyone knows a girl like that. If you don't know a girl like that- it's you.

Anyways I'd rather be single than be that girl, simply because being single proves that I have respect for myself in choosing what I want. I'm not going to randomly make-out with any boy I see! Unless it's just one of those nights, we all have them.

Anyways when did being single all of a sudden become the most important thing in a teenage girls/boys life? I'm not saying I know what it should be, I'm just saying I know what it shouldn't be.

First off, an actual relationship is hard work. You have to sacrifice a lot of things, like the hours and hours you spend on Tumblr, but actually it's a lot more than that. You have to figure out how to balance your friends and your relationship, I never ever want to be the girl who becomes so preoccupied with her boyfriend that she doesn't see her friends anymore.

Now, sure sometimes it's actually kind of fun to sit around with a chick-flick on while eating ice-cream with your Friends, and complain about how you are all single. Let it all out! Plus it makes an awesome bonding moment that you get to laugh about forever, I suggest to do it on Valentines day, and every other Tuesday.

OK, so point is next time some bitch goes on and on about how amazing her boyfriend is, please ignore it and think to yourself "I am a diamond I think very highly of myself unlike this girl, who is simply going on and on about her boyfriend because he is actually a very terrible boyfriend and since their relationship isn't full enough she felt the need to brag to me about it, because that's how worthless she is. I, on the other hand, am going to wait for someone who is perfect, someone who I will not have to brag about."

Trust me Diamonds, hang in there because they'll come around.

Breakthrough

Do you know what scary? I'm not talking "Halloween scary" or "trying to survive a hurricane scary". I mean emotional scary, something that gets your heart racing and your stomach in a knot.

What I'm talking about is letting someone become close to you.

Not like making friends, I've come to find that friends will love you no matter what shit you do. They laugh at your mistakes and tease you when you do something really stupid, or they find out about the weird things you do.

Not like that, I'm talking about letting some one into your life that you see an intimate future with.

Just the other day I had what people refer to as a "breakthrough." I realized that I will avoid any situation in which a person becomes to close to me. I realized this after thinking about my ]relationship last summer.

Then I began to wonder why, why am I afraid of letting people close to me? Whats the worst that could happen?

And of course, just because of my lifestyle the answer came to me in an episode of Sex and the City. I realized that I wouldn't let people close to me because they would suddenly see my flaws, and I would get hurt.

I said it before, I'm not perfect. And this breakthrough only proves it. However I know so many other girls AND boys go through this. If the person you like get close to you, they suddenly realize all the flaws you have that weren't quite there before.

Suddenly the big things become obvious, like things that happened in your past that you would like to forget. Family issues that you felt you were safe from in this relationship.

Even the small things seem like earthquakes to the stability of the relationships foundation, like how you are terrible at separating your laundry colors, or how you wear a really gross retainer at night.

I'm sorry if I have officially scarred any of you into getting close with someone, but I want to let you know that you will find someone some day who will think that the way you talk with a retainer in is cute, or will hug and support you when those family issues come up, and they won't judge your past because they also have their own. As for the laundry thing, ladies you might have to work on that if you plan on winning "best housewife of the year," but if not I'm sure some guys don't really mind if their whites accidentally turn out pink.

Now diamonds, I always want to be honest with you in thins blog, and that's why I am telling you all of this. If you can't relate to me now, I guarantee you one day you will look back on this and say to yourself  "Damn, that girl really had it all figured out!" but I don't completely. I'm still only a teenager, I guess just realize things really quickly.

Crazy Little Thing

It's sort of funny, isn't it? The idea that there is only ONE person out there in the entire world for us, that some how, beyond all other possibilities in the world we will find this one person. Whether it be we meet them online, in high school, or accidentally get pregnant with their child at a random hook up coming home from the bar? Hey, it could happen!

My point is, when you put the idea in you mind that love is the end-all be-all thing about life, it's hard to get that out.

I look at the statics, "there's a 60% divorce rate in America", "men will always cheat", "no one actually ends up happy in the end".

At one point I feel like I am literally going to yell out "STOP! IN THE NAME OF LOVE JUST STOP!" And shouldn't we all?

As a teenage girl who is probably over-exposed to romance movies and TV shows, I'd like to believe that true love exists. I like to think that there is one man out there for me who will treat me with respect, love me, want my children, and will enter the world of monogamous relationships with me.

Now I will admit that my view on love changes every five minutes. However the statement above holds true. I will also admit this, I know those expectations are some-what high. But if I don't respect myself enough to aim for a person who will treat me right for the rest of my life, then who will?

That also ties into something else I have learned about love, before you can ever love another person, you have to love yourself, I know I have probably said this a million times, but it's true.

Love is complicated, there is no such thing as a perfect cookie-cutter relationship. For examples my mom and dad were friends before they started going out they dated for two years, even thought they both knew they were eventually going to be married by the second dated. My aunt knew she would marry my uncle the second she saw him, before she even said hello. Sally and Mark had been friends since forever, and it took them up until last spring to get married.

So sometimes love comes to you, and sometimes it doesn't come as soon as you would think. My great-aunt use to work for Vogue. I'm not quite sure what she did in the magazine, however I know she loved working there, her job and lifestyle was so demanding and up-beat that she didn't have time for a relationship. She didn't have a boyfriend until just recently when she retired in North Carolina.

So to wrap-up this love fest, I just want to point out to my diamonds that they don't need a boyfriend/girlfriend in their lives to be happy, and long as you are accompanied by a bunch of other diamonds, you are going to be just fine. In my attempt to quote Carrie Bradshaw "I figured out that once you already have three soul mates figured out, it's really easy to spot those really great guys."

Don't Compare.

I know I mentioned before that there are girls out there who try so hard to seem flawless, but they end up looking bad. Well I failed to mention that there are those girls, who do have it all. And they don't even realize they do, and they make us feel terrible about ourselves.

For example, when Carrie Bradshaw found out that her ex-love, Big, was recently married she acted like she didn't care but when she read the article she cried, and simply said "It's because she's a fashion writer, she's Chanel, she's Vera Wang. And I'm the sex column they run next to ads for implants."

Now I didn't get that quote totally right, but the point is that Carrie feels bad about herself because she compared herself to this woman. I also feel a connection to her because I'm sure as hell not a cheerleader, I'm just a blogger trying to maintain a GPA that will keep me in the National Honor Society.

Now I know that every girl has compared herself to another girl at one point in time. I've compared myself to my friends, relatives, and, of course, those models who seem perfect. However I ask myself all the time why I do that. I don't look just like my friends, that doesn't make me ugly by any standards. And so what? I don't look like a model, most of then are photo shopped and/or go for weeks without eating. I don't want to go through those extremes just to get my face in the Target shopping catalog.

I don't aspire to be a model, an actress, or a famous pop-singer. I aspire to be a news broadcaster, and when I am on CNN reporting about the economy, or the presidential debates, I don't want people to judge the way I look. It's not what I'm there for. I am going to be there so that I can deliver the news to people.

Now, yes I know that being a news broadcaster will put me in the public eye, and I am sure I will receive comments about how I look. However that doesn't and won't matter to me. Honestly it shouldn't matter to anyone what anyone says about them.

Remember that "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent" - Eleanor Roosevelt

No Regrets.

Today lets talk about living with no regrets.

And by talking I mean I'm going to talk and you're going to read, but when you see me tomorrow you can discuss it with me!

Do you have a bucket list? I know what you're thinking," I am a teenager! Why should I have a bucket list? I'll work on that when I an retired." But what worries me sometimes is, what if I don't live into retirement? There is a chance that you may not even make it to tomorrow. Now I'm sorry if that sounds depressing; I know it is, but seriously why would you ever want to put off the things you want to do most?

Personally, I have made some crazy and unrealistic goals for myself, hears my list so far:

1. Co-Host Anderson Live
2. Meet my favorite musical group/ artist
3. Live in New York City
4. Live in San Francisco
5. Work for CNN
6. Go to my dream college
7. Have a long happy marriage

I have many more but those are just the first seven that came to mind. I know some of them sound normal, and others don't, but that's the whole point! You have to dream big when it comes to things like this! You have to shoot for the stars! Like my friend Maddie she wants to become a Rockette, and I know she can, because she's the kind of girl who will stop at nothing to pursue her dreams.

I would also like to think I am that girl. Some one once told me, "Kid, you have no idea how bright you are, and all the things you could accomplish if you just put yourself out there." I was astounded by his words, because he was completely right. The only things stopping me in this world is myself. He actually was the person who suggested I create a blog, and every time I get one hundred more readers I mentally thank him.

Point is if he could see all that potential in me why didn't I see it in myself? This blog alone has already made me realize that putting myself out in the world will only have positive benefits.

So why don't you right now, create a quick bucket list, even if it's one thing, like "I want to meet my real father."  or something even more simple like "I want to tell my mother everyday how much she means to me."

I want to believe that when I am in heaven, or where ever we go after this life, I can look back on it and say "Yeah, I did a pretty good job..." and walk away from my life with no regrets.

Todays Education

This generation will be the first generation EVER in which more women will be receiving a higher education than men.

As a feminist this makes me happy. However it also brings up the decision that most women will have to face, "Would I be willing to marry or even date a man who has less of an education than me?"

My opinion on that question? It depends, if he dropped out of high school and became a very successful actor/ musician, then yes. If he dropped out of high school so he could work full-time at the Burger King, then no.

Truth about women is we want someone who we can lean on, we want someone who can provide for us. And marrying a man with only a high school diploma, while we have our masters degree in communications, doesn't exactly seem like the kind of relationship I would want to be in, quite frankly. However I have only sort of been one relationship in my entire life, and I have never been "in love" so who am I to say who I would and wouldn't marry.

I'm just saying that women find men with an education very attractive, why do you think all those men on Wall Street get so many wives?

So ladies, I'm not saying you should lower your expectations. I may have given the advice that some of your expectations are a little too high, and some of them are, but this is different. An education is very important especially in this job market. I am also not saying that you should just stop at high school or just two years at a community college, keep going with your education, especially if it's important to you, who is stopping you besides yourself?

I am however trying to tell you to push you guy friends, your brothers, and you boyfriends into receiving a higher education. Scare them into college by telling them that they wont get laid if they drop out of high school, which is partially true.

So even though we dread getting up at 5 am every Monday morning, focusing on our future career is important. Just keep your goal in mind while you are in your most boring class. When ever I wonder why I have to put up with school, I remind myself that in less than a decade I play on living in the city, and having a very successful job as a newscaster, or writer, and I can own as many pairs of shoes as I want with my very generous paycheck. That's how I am able to make it through most of my dull classes.

So, in conclusion, don't lower yourself to a man who isn't worthy of your brains and don't give up on your education! Think of all those poor shoes who won't have a home!

Anti-Bullying Month

I've been wanting to write a post about bullying since the beginning of this month, since it is national anti-bullying month. I had been waiting for the right time to do it, but today seems like the perfect day since I was in fact bullied today.

Lets start today with an interesting statistic, did you know studies show 50% of children don't want to go to school simply because they feel bullied, and unsafe? I personally never understood this study until today.

Now I wont go into detail about the conversation, but I will tell you it, but ended with her laughing at me. Not with me, but AT me. I literally felt like the laughing lasted five minutes. It hurt, because I was talking about something important to me, but she just kept laughing at me. The worst part was up until today I considered her to literally be one of my closest friends, she stuck with me throughout my Sally crisis last year, and I valued her friendship and opinion over a lot of peoples.

I still want to be her friend and I did talk to her about it over text today as to why she laughed at me, I couldn't say it to her face because I would have probably cried, and if there is one thing I never do it's cry in front of people.

The incident happened in the beginning of the day, so for the entire day I was completely zoned-out. I was angry at her for laughing at me, but over-all I was angry at myself. I had a million thoughts run through my head, all of which were completely wrong "Maybe I should just stop being friends with her" "Maybe I should stop valuing peoples friendships so much, they all end anyways" or "I should just go home." When that last thought came to mind I realized that I had been bullied, and I had become a statistic. I wanted to go home, because I had been hurt.

However I knew better than to stop being friends with this girl, sure, our friendship probably won't ever be the same again. I saw a different side of her today that I didn't even knew existed, but I'm not going to drop her cold-turkey.

And I have this blog to thank for that. I think I am beginning to realize that this blog is actually helping me. If it were a year ago I would have ignored my friend for saying things like what she said to me today, but instead i talked to her, and admitting our friendship won't return to what it was is pure honesty. I don't know if I ever want that to happen again to me, so I'll protect myself from not letting it happen.

What I want you to take away from this blog is simply this: Please think about the tings you say, and when you make a mistake do your best to give a sincere apology, not a half-ass one.

Remember that we are all diamonds, but our hearts can be made of glass, and those shatter easily.

Don't Be Perfect: Be A Diamond

I hate to be a "Debby-Downer" but I'm sorry to say, you aren't perfect.

We have created this image in our heads of what perfection truly is, and she is a beautiful girl who excels in everything she does. Honestly, most of us try to be her, we want to get into our perfect college, we want to start all of the trends, and we want to be dating the best boyfriend!

Realistically we can't, and there isn't a single thing wrong with that. Whats wrong is trying to be this perfect girl, and trying so hard to be her that you end up becoming a bitch.

Like a friend of mine, who's name I will not say. She tries so hard to be perfect that when she talks to you it's degrading. Every time I make a joke about something she thinks I'm serious, so she takes me for an idiot. She also believes she is so beyond community college that every time I say "Yeah, I'm considering community college for financial reasons..." she will immediately say, "I'm not working my butt-off in high school so I can go to some community college!"

Gee thanks, have you ever considered how that made me feel after you said that? No. You didn't. You don't know what its like teaching yourself to be financially responsible at the age of eight so that you will be able to afford a college education, or a new guitar for Christmas. So don't go running around thinking you are THAT beyond me. Trying to be perfect will only make you look like a bitch, I know that I throw the word "bitch" around a lot, 99% of the time I am totally joking, but when I call this girl a bitch, I honestly mean it, simply because she puts me down like that.

Don't try to be perfect. I think everyone should try to be like my friend Maria, I like to compared her to a diamond. She's beautiful, and she's strong, like most girls.

We should excel in everything that we can do, like me for instance. I am good at blogging, being an Anderson Cooper fan, and trying to be a good friend. Maybe I'm not the BEST at those three things (but lets be honest I'm amazing at loving Anderson), but I try my best in them and i accept the things I suck at. For example french braiding hair, if I french braid my hair it's because I am going to wear a softball helmet, so it'll look bad anyways.

So I personally want to inspire any girls, and the two boys that I'm pretty sure read this blog..., to aspire to be diamonds. Stay strong and stay beautiful.

Who's Really the Ugly One?

Don't lie, we have all said it before, "Ugh, she's so ugly." "What an ugly bitch."or the classic "Who? Her? the ugly one?"

Now my opinion on the word ugly is that I frankly hate it. As a girl who has had self esteem issues since elementary school I feel like saying words like that are harsh, and you shouldn't say that to a person.

However there is an exception to every rule.

Research shows that if someone acts two-faced or just flat-out mean towards you, the flaws of her face suddenly became obvious in your mind, and you remember her as being extremely ugly. Contrary to that, if a person is genuinely nice, and funny, and caring, you're going to see her as a very pretty person. I'm not quite sure how that works, but think about it a little, it makes sense.

Now why did I bring this topic up?

Ever since elementary school when I had my insecurities I vowed to myself that I would never hate a person until I got to know them, and I would never call a girl ugly behind her back, unless I meant it towards her personality. Ever since then the word ugly has just been a, well, an ugly word for me. I feel like people only say it to hide their own insecurities.

"Calling somebody else fat won't make you any skinnier. Calling someone stupid doesn't make you any smarter."

OK so if Cady was right in that quote than calling someone ugly won't make you any prettier, and because that is a mean thing to say it will really only make you look uglier in peoples eyes.

Today my sister used the word "ugly" twice while I was having a conversation with her. Both times she was talking about people whom she didn't know. I was ashamed, I corrected her both times, but she just became mad at me, and I think I know why. She knew it was wrong to call those people ugly because she didn't know them, so when I called her out on it she became embarrassed.

Which makes me want to bring up a point: When you call someone out on being a bully, or saying something mean to you they will immediately lose power. Their body language closes up and their voice becomes timid, that or they will start over-reacting which will only make them look like a complete bitch.

So listen, I know that people are still going to use the word ugly, I can't stop the freedom of speech you have, but I am saying that you should probably think twice before saying it next time. Especially if you don't know the person.

It's Your Choice.

It's the most asked question every four years, "Who are you voting for, for President?" HOWEVER  people usually answer that question, and that is the end of the story, but I think you should begin a conversation on why you are voting for this person!

Who would I vote for if I was old enough? Easy, I'd vote for Obama. Quit with your groaning and eye rolls, I'm not 100% with Obama.

But there is no way in hell I am voting for Romney.

Why? Because Mitt Romneys' views on gay marriage and abortion are disgusting.

Lets address the gay marriage first: who is Mitt to tell people whether or not they are in love? I have many gay and lesbian relatives, and the fact that there are still people out there who think they are sinful or that they "chose their lifestyle" sicken me. No one chooses to live a life of rejection, hate, and abuse.

Let's think about this realistically, if I met a guy six minutes ago, in Vegas and I was drunk I could get married to him, totally legal. If I have had six husbands before that all ended in a divorce, I could get married again, totally legal. But if you're in a committed relationship with your same-sex partner for 20 years you can't marry him/her because of your gender? I would also like to point out that there are more states in this country in which you can have sex with your horse than there are which gay marriage is legal. There are also more states where you can get married to your first cousin (banjo music). So Romney, I'm not telling you that I'm mad at you for having sex with your horse, or that your wife is really your first cousin, but your hurtful beliefs in what love really is, is actually hurting people. So change your opinion.

I would also like to point out that in the bible it says that all love is Gods love, so isn't denying love, even gay love, denying God? (ha ha. Got you bitch, think twice before messing with me Mitt!)

Second. Abortion. Listen Romney I am going to make this very easy for you to understand.

Until you have a vagina, quit trying to tell me what to do with mine.

Understandable? Thought so.

So I would like to say that I don't hate Mitt Romney, I can't hate someone I don't care about. I do hate his opinions, and how they affect people who don't deserve such hate.

Anyways that is just my political opinion, but I can't vote so I just wanted to voice my thoughts, and see if this got anyone thinking about the up coming election and what is important to them.

Why Do We Change Ourselves?

So lets be honest, most of the people in the world, boy or girl, do not like their physical appearance 100%. We all have that one thing, our nose is crocked, our necks are too long, our legs aren't long enough, or we aren't a size zero.

And because of this we change ourselves. In small ways we wear certain clothing, wear make up,and  dye our hair. These are the simple little things that we do, which mostly boost our confidence and we usually can get a few compliments out of them.

Sadly there are drastic measures people take to try and fit in, my friend Michaela was one of those girls who used drastic measures to become beautiful. First you have to understand, Michaela was in no way fat, but she  assumed since she didn't have a boyfriend that there must be something wrong with her. Michaela took weight loss pills that were meant for obese people and she ate nothing but celery, because celery has negative calories (You burn more calories chewing it than you actually consume). She also exercised about three hours everyday. Which is not a bad thing, but considering you aren't eating anything, that is extremely dangerous.

Michaela's bad habits caught up to her, she became very sick and had to be hospitalized for four days. She was dangerously skinny, and her body was about ready to shut-down.

Now why did I just ruin your day with a very unhappy story? Because I think girls, and boys too, are held to unrealistic standards.

I'm not saying to not straighten your hair in the morning or put on make-up because I think it's wrong, I don't. I wear make up and do my hair, I'm saying don't bash on people when they don't. It's disgusting, and it doesn't make you a better person.

We should be changing our appearance because we want to, not because we feel obligated to because people are harassing us into it.

So next time you tell someone something, what ever it be try to ask yourself, "How will this make this person feel?"

Sorry if I sound like an annoying, middle-aged high school counselor, but honestly I am kind of sick of watching my friends get hurt over these things. After Michaela I didn't really want to take anymore chance. And if anyone of you ever feel like you aren't good enough, or that you aren't a super-model, just remember that you can define your own beauty.

I'm A Girl In Progress Too.

My sister and I have a tradition that if we are both free on a Saturday or Friday night we will rent two movies out of the Redbox and watch them together. Our rules are that we will always get a comedy, and along with the comedy we will either get an action movie, or we will get a movie that looks absolutely terrible.

Last night was our tradition movie night, and we got a comedy The Five Year Engagement and we got a movie which we thought would be terrible Girl In Progress.

We had seen the previews for Girl in Progress before, and it looked like a pretty boring story so we figured we would get it. By the end of the movie we realized how completely wrong we were about our judgments on the movie.

The movie is a coming-of-age story about a teenage girl who is being raised by a young, single mother. This girl, Ann, resents her mother because she comes home late after drinking with her boyfriend ( a married man), this causes Ann to do all of the house work, and take care of her mother, because her mother doesn't take care of her.

Ann's teacher tells her class about a  "Coming- of-Age- story," and how it is one's journey through childhood into adulthood. Her teacher explains that's the protagonist of the story must go through his/her "Rites of Passages" on their way to adulthood. Ann is mislead and thinks that if she goes through these steps she can leave her mother and start her own life.

Therefore Ann begins her own coming-of-age story.

First she has to become identified as a good-girl, the kind who says "gosh darn-it!" and wears pigtails while riding on a pink bike with a basket. While she is the good girl she has to do something extra nerdy, so a teacher will recognize her intelligence, and watch as she throws it all away.

Second she has to start being seen with the wrong kind of people, she befriends the schools bad-girl. Ann begins drinking and doing gate-way drugs, she also starts disrespecting her mom, and skipping class. Ann also has to leave her best friend behind to fit in to her new crowd of friends.

Third, and possibly most important, Ann has to lose her virginity, and after that she gets on a bus to New York City and leaves her mother behind.

Now Ann succeeded in everything up to the third step, she did not sleep with the schools bad-boy, but he just tells everyone they did. So Ann loses her friendship with the bad-girl, and she has no one.
Ann quickly gets onto a bus to New York, but her mother stops her.

Ann learns her lesson that becoming an adult doesn't mean she has to leave her friends behind and lose her virginity, she learns that everyone has their own path to adulthood.

Now doesn't this make you wonder if maybe Ann had the right idea? Is there possibly a way to skip to adulthood by just going through a few simply, but bold steps?

I personally disagree, I don't think those steps are necessary, but I find it remarkable how this movie was able to dissect every teenage movie.

Anyways I just wanted to point out that we are all girls in progress. We are all going to leave friends behind at some points, and we are all going to make mistakes and when you sit around wondering why did you do those things, it's simply because it is all apart of you story, and how your story is leading you to become an independent person.

This Girl Is On Fire.

What come to your mind when you think of a hero?

Is it a beautiful man in a cape? Who can fly through the air and same women and children from the evil scientist? Is it a man dressed in a military uniform with a short buzz cut? Is it your mom? Or a public figure that inspires you?

My hero? I have many. My friends are my heroes, my family members are my heroes, any news reporter, firefighter, police officer, or person in the military is a hero to me.

But today I'm not going to talk about those heroes. Not because they don't deserve it, I could talk about them all day. Today however I wanted to talk about the unexpected hero, The Underdog.

I want to talk about Malala  Yousafzai. I know, you have probably never heard of her, but this girl has recently become my role model, and she's only 14 years old.

When Malala was about 11 years old she started a blog speaking out against the Taliban. She spoke out against their belief that women do not deserve a proper education. The Taliban is working on a national ban to eliminate women's education. She believes that women should have the opportunity of an education. Her blog became very popular among women and girls in her country of Pakistan.

On Tuesday October 9th 2012 Malala was riding to bus on her way to school (Yes she does go to school, she just speaks for the others who can't have an education)  When her bus was stopped by a gunman, when the gunman went into the bus he asked which one of the children was Malala. When he found out which one was her, he shot the two girl who were sitting with her. These girls are not in critical care right now, they are expected to be just fine with a full recovery.

Malala was shot directly into the head. Malala is in critical condition and got out of surgery today after they had to remove another bullet that was in her neck.

Now I don't know how you feel about this, and I don't care. This girl is a hero, she performed such a heroic act by defying these people. They had machine guns, and all she had was a computer. And boy, did she use that computer to her advantage.  This girls blog has been featured on a BBC documentary.

However I am terrified for this girls life, even if she does make it out of these surgeries. The Taliban has issued a statement saying that if they didn't kill her this time, they will kill her next time.

I chose not to let people like that scare me. And I am sure Malala feels the same way. She was brave enough to write about these opinions she had, even if she received death-threats from her Government.

I wanted to bring this girl up because she is a hero and she deserves national attention but also because it interests me that these men who are attacking her. Why are they so afraid of what a fourteen year old girl has to say? That makes you think doesn't it?

These men have guns and armies, but she has the truth, and the truth conquers all.

I hope you consider Malala a hero, and I hope she makes it through her critical condition. No educated girl deserves to go through this, just because she had an opinion.

How Far Will You Go?

You know how this goes down. You suddenly fall head over heels for this adorable boy in you history class, and you want ot get him to like you, but how?

Well I personally would like to know that too. Is there possibly a sure-fire-way to get a guy to like you?

I of course did some amazing research on this topic among my friends and on Google. Wikipedia gives you and eight step process to how to get a guy to like you:

1. "Like Yourself"
2. "Make it Clear You're Available."
3. "Get His Attention:
4. "Get him to laugh!"
5."Don't be Afraid to be his friend!"
6. "Do things Together!"
7. "Have Patience"
8. "Keep in mind you can't control his feelings"

I could literally point out a flaw in every single step, but I choose not to because that would make this the longest blog ever.

However I will point out that this is more of a list on how to "Get friend-zoned and rejected."

When it comes to the art of attracting a male,  the best thing to do is turn to your friends. You'll learn that your closest friends will always have the answers.

Like today when I was discussing this with my kick-ass friend Marissa she told me that when she was crushing on Aden she would wear her hair down so he could play with it, even though that was gym class and she would get her hair all messy.

My friend Laurel told me that she one day wore tight pants so the guy she liked would notice her, however she felt so guilty after it because she knew that having a boy stare at your butt all day wasn't the way to get a boys attention.

So what have we learned from my friends boy-attracting-experiences? First having a boy look at your butt isn't the way to get him to like you, and second you should put a little effort into your appearance like Marissa's hair, because that allowed her to be social with Aden.

What I do? I try to make conversation with the guy, like tell him a I like his shirt or smile at him in the hallway, I also dress nice. But every girl does! We can't help it!

Heartbreaks and Aches

"A heart break is a necessity when it come to experiences in life."

This is quote I jokingly said to my friend Maggie on the bus this morning.

Truth be told, I meant it.

I have experienced heartbreak before, it's not fun, you don't walk away from it right after saying "Gee I'm so happy I just spent that entire weekend eating chocolate ice cream while watching Nicholas Sparks films, and listening to my mix tape of Adele and Taylor Swift!" No.

A heartbreak doesn't heal over one weekend. I don't care who you are or what your relationship was like, there is still always emotion left behind. I don't care if you think you are the most amazing person in the world, you don't get over a boy in a day. And guys, if the girl ever meant something to you, you won't get over her in a day either.

Especially if you had sex with them. Scientist have proven that a chemical in a woman's brain in released when she has sex, causing her to attach to that person. Personally? I think this was a lame excused drawn up by male scientist just to show how crazy women are. Which I'm fine with, good job dickheads, doesn't mean we are going to stop doing it.

Anyways, back to my friend Maggie, today while we were riding home on the bus she told me "I figured out a solution to that whole heart-break-thing: Never fall in love in the first place!"

Now I know she was totally kidding because Maggie doesn't seem like the type to give up on love, but she brings up a good point.

Is the heartbreak, and sorrowful emotion you deal with after a relationship even worth it?

My opinion? Yes.

Yes, you'll go through every stage of grief, you'll consume twice your weight in ice cream, and you'll probably watch so many episodes of One Tree Hill that you'll forget your own name, but I promise you'll walk away a better person.

Diamonds a heart break is good every now and then if you can move on from it.

When It's Over

As a teenager I will make my life as complicated as possible.

But I'm really not trying to.

When a girl cries about something it usually means she was very passionate about the matter, or she cared a lot about the thing/person her tears were intended for.

For example, I cry when I hear about a dog being put-down; I cry when I see an inspiring love story on television; I cry when I hear about someone who lost their life to cancer, or is fighting cancer; And I cry when I know something isn't right with one of my friends.

This past couple of weeks I noticed I am losing touch with some of the people I considered to be my closest group of friends. And I didn't truly realize I was drifting away from them until I was sitting in a hotel miles away from them. I guess the physical distance just slammed it into my face that there was also a deep emotional distance.

The worst part? They know you're hurt about it, and they rub that in, just because they want to hide how hurt they are. There isn't a single teenage girl on this earth who wants to be the victim, we want to PLAY the victim, but the truth is we all want the upper-hand in a relationship, even if it is just with our friends. I hate to think I have ever done this to someone.

 I am a believer in a mutual relationship, if you say something that hurts me, I will tell you and I would want you to do the same. If you tell me this in a calm way I will listen to you, but I honestly have to much respect for myself to listen to you talk to me like you are so beyond me. I don't care how long we have been friends. No friend would honestly try to put you down like that.

So for some of my friends I sense our relationship is over. - You ignore me when I try to say something and you don't take me seriously.

I would honestly like to know what goes on in peoples minds when they put people down like that. Are they thinking "Well if I treat her like shit she will treat me like a queen and I can keep her like a little puppy-dog?"

Fuck No Bitch. I can tell you right now that I have plenty of friends who treat me with the respect I deserve, I don't care if we have known each other since preschool, and I have only been friends with these other people for a couple of years. You have changed since preschool. And I have too.

I'm not saying you can't be friends with someone forever, because you totally can. I;m saying a friendship, like any relationship is work, and it needs a mutual sense of respect.

If you don't treat your friends with respect, don't expect to have them for much longer.

Sally's Story

Now I'm sorry to tell you that today's post isn't going to be about my crazy friends and their very dramatic lives, or about how boys are very complicated.

Today I am going to tell you one of the most inspiring things that has happened to me.

But first I have to tell you about Sally, my cousin.

Sally was the most inspiring person I had ever met. She was raped at 15, and gave the child to her neighbors down the street. She finished her high school education and went on to community college. She dreamed of going to Boston University. However, Sally was diagnosed with stage 2 cancer, she got the cancer from some medication she was taking after her pregnancy eventually the doctors realized that her cancer was worse than they had thought, and they told her she had about 2 months to live.

But Sally didn't cry, she decided to make the most of her two months left on the word, she dropped out of college and planned a road trip to see all of the USA. Sally had the most amazing boyfriend, Mark. They had been best friends since ever. I literally cannot think of a time when Sally didn't know Mark. Mark dropped out of college with her so he could spend every waking moment with her.

Mark proposed to Sally while they were in California together. So i got to play "wedding-planner" for 36 hours.

Sally died about two weeks after she married Mark, and we both cried together over the phone.

I don't want you to think this is a sad story, because Sally never thought it was. she always said to me, "If you share this story with anyone else, tell them it's a happy story. I'm happy about it!"

Now to switch gears, I want to talk about sally's little boy, who is just like her. His name is Jackson, and he lives with the couple who lived by Sally their entire lives. The couples names are Oscar and Jim. Yes i know what you're thinking, and yes they are gay. Fucking Deal With It.

Anyways I didn't ever really get to know Oscar and Jim on a personal level, but on Tuesday night I received a phone call from them.

They asked me to be Jackson's God-Mother.

I cried for about five minutes before I could even get a "yes" out. But that's OK because I know they were crying too.

Now I will swear, that you have never heard anything as sweetie as a little 4-year-old call you "Auntie" I won't ever forget hearing that.

Now why did I tell you this story? Mostly because Sally was a big part in my life, and also because I think it is important to tell a story like this and show people how lucky their lives are. If my cousin could die of cancer and still be happy, you can get through your AP Music Theory test just fine. And I hope you remember Sally's story the next time you feel weak, I hope she helps you. She's sure as hell helped me.

Where'd it All Go?

"But if you love someone and you break up, where does the love go?"
-Carrie Bradshaw.

The girl has a point. When we break up with someone or when we decide to not have a crush on them anymore, where do our feelings for that person go?

My kick-ass friend Marissa dropped all feelings for Aden, I guess the point behind that is: If there is nothing left why force it? You're just going to put yourself through a bunch of heartbreaks, and disappointments.

Then there is Maddie and Forrest...

Now I was very proud of Maddie for not following Forrest around like a little puppy during homecoming, or trying to text him everyday afterwards. That made me proud that maybe she would move on and find someone else to ask her out without breaking her heart.

However... Maddie recently dropped some knowledge on me; I asked her if she would ever go out with Forrest again if he asked her.

And she said yes.

I can't exactly remember her reasoning behind this shocking statement, but I think it was along the lines of "It's not like we were dating."

But anyways, I can rant about that topic in another blog post.

So clearly Maddie's feelings for Forrest haven't gone away. Which is a totally understandable, I didn't get over my seventh grade crush until this summer, and I have a friend who still isn't over her seventh grade crush (we both got played, C'est la vie!)

I'm not saying Maddie's being played, I doubt that girl could ever be played, she's too smart.

I'm saying that everyone has ways of getting over the people they once had feelings for. Maddie chooses not to get ride of the feelings, Marissa chooses to drop the feelings because she is strong enough on her own without some dandruff-magnet-boyfriend, and me? Well I had to spend the summer of 10th grade making out with a guy so I could get over my seventh grade crush, clearly I have problems with letting emotions go, but that doesn't matter because I got ride of them.

And that's exactly what you have to do with people you don't have in your life anymore, get ride of them, or win their sorry-ass back.

National Boyfriend Day

So Twitter has officially announced that today is "National Boyfriend Day!"

Now put you hand up if you're single. Yeah I figured you were.

Why is it that people have to advertise their relationship online and make a big fuss that they are "in love?" Has Hollywood made love seem like the most important thing that will ever happen to us and now we have to obtain it and flaunt it? And why would you flaunt it if you already have it? Are you insecure about it? Or are you that much of a bitch that you have to go around and remind all the single people that they are single?

I don't think I have ever had a friends that flaunts her boyfriend in front of me. Which is good because that girl wouldn't stay my friend for long.

Why is it such a big deal to everyone if they have a boyfriend or not?

And I'm sorry if I sound like an unhappy single girl, but I'm not. I just don't understand why people need to make a big deal about their relationships without being asked about them!

Yes, I do understand that showing you affection for one another is great, but since when does that involve making an entire Facebook album of just you two in a lip-lock?

Lets talk about my friend Polly, just because she would love if I wrote about her while I am on this subject.

Polly had a crush on Erwin since the fourth or fifth grade. Finally Erwin decided to ask her out during Freshman year of high school. My friends and I wanted to throw a party, but we decided not to simply because Polly isn't the kind of girl who wants to gush about her boyfriend during a sleepover, she's very conservative. Which I appreciate, because some girls just aren't anymore. I will be honest her lack of telling about her boyfriend may have a tendency to get frustrating and old during a sleepover when all we want to talk about is boys, but that's only a very rare occasion.

Point is: Why can't girls try and be happy in their own relationship with out telling her friends what an "AMAZING kisser he is!!" or how he loves animals, and wants to live in Lima, Ohio with three little girls when he's older. It's your relationship. NOT MINE.

If anyone ever asked me about a relationship I had or am in I would tell them what they wanted to hear, but I wouldn't gush into detail about every date me and the guy had. I've never been the type of person to trail on in a conversation unless I was really sleepy or excited.

So my advice to the girls who participated in "National Boyfriend Day:" I'm happy you're in love and you have someone very special in your life, but if they are the most perfect person as is, then why do you have to brag about it? It's your boyfriend enough already?

That's right I make a damn good point.

When Your Expectations are Too Damn High!

Now I understand that most girls have already picked out EXACTLY  what their husband is going to be like. For example, My kick- ass friend Marrissa has decided to quit high school boys, and move on to Russian hockey players, which I fully support. Since I am from Boston there is nothing I find more attractive than having your nose broken because you got hit in the face with a  stick. However the kind of unreal expectations some girls have fore men is bizarre, even to me. Don't get me wrong Marrissa may seem kind of dreaming when she says "Russian Hockey Players," but I know Marrissa, and any guys would be lucky to have her. My friend Kate on the other hand...

My friend Kate and I have known each other for a really long time. Recently however we have been butting-heads in a few arguments. One of the arguments I m going to shine a light on today, and this argument involves the big S-E-X.

My friend Kate is under the impression that you can find ANY MAN who is willing to wait until marriage to have sex with you. I'm not disagreeing with her there are men who will wait until marriage, but those men are way too hard to find.

Now lets look at  all the things wrong with Kate's ideal man. First, and I'm not trying to stereotype men as "sex-crazy", but men will usually not stick around with a girl unless they are getting some sort of action.

Ladies I'm not saying you should drop your panties the second a guy asks you to (have some dignity), but the idea of being in a relationship with a person and waiting until marriage to have sex is unlikely and I would not suggest it. A very wise woman once told me "Now Phoebe, I'm not telling you to have sex before you're married, because that would be wrong. However, you should always check the merchandise before you buy it."

The fact that Kate feels that way about relationships now, will change. Once she has a legitimate relationship with actual boys, in the real world (Sorry if you're reading this sweetie, but it's sort of true). I will admit that I felt the exact same way as Kate did, until recently. Now I feel that you're only young for the time being and you should just live it up. I'm not saying go out and have sex at the age of sixteen, because we are still too young for that. I'm just trying to say that such an expectation is ridiculous and is definitely not fit for the real world.

Don't base expectations for a relationship off of a fucking Disney movie.

 If you walk away from this post and your ideal man is still Prince Charming, Your expectations are too damn high...

Excuse Me Gentlemen?

Alright Ladies it's time for us to have a very important conversation.
About Men.
And boys, it really wouldn't hurt if you paid some attention to this. You might be able to pick up a few things about being a gentlemen, or learning what girls like so you can get them to fall in love with you easier, or easier to get to bed. Lets be honest you will still be boys...

I decided to write about his because one of my closest friends, Marrissa, just got out of a pretty rocky relationship. Marrissa had a crush on Aden at the end of last year, and after some small convincing for Marrissas' friends Aden asked her out. I thought they were a total power couple, but any relationship with Marrissa in it is a power relationship, because that girl can kick ass. One day I was at my friend Lizzie's house for a small party, and Marrissa was there. She seemed upset for most of the party, but tried to avoid having a bad time. When we finally asked her what was wrong she replied with, "Today was my one-month. Aden totally forgot." Don't ask us girls why your one-month anniversary is a big deal, we aren't completely sure why, but it is. So remember it.

I wanted to tell Marrissa to leave him, but I didn't. Her relationship wasn't my relationship. I didn't know the whole story, and telling her to leave him would probably have only upset her even more. So I did what any friend would do, I told her he probably forgot, and feels terrible.

Marissa and Aden eventually ended things. But I don't see a problem with it, she wasn't happy in the relationship, and as my friend there is nothing she deserves more then being happy.

Now what was the whole point of this story? What should you girls and boys be taking away from this? Well for starters, don't forget your one-months! Second if you do- make it up to the person!

But aside from Marrissa's story, I want to base my own opinions about relationships, especially relationships at this age.

First I think the women in relationships are held to unrealistic standards. Boys, listen a girl is not going to sleep with you after two months, she may not even sleep with you within a year of your relationship. Also stop expecting every girl to be a DD-cup ok? Not every girl has JWOWW's boobs and ass. Respect a girl for her heart, not body.

Secondly, I think us girls also hold men to a semi-unfair standard. We expect a boy to remember EVERYTHING we have EVER said, and that's a little unrealistic. I'm not saying you boys can get away with hitting the mute-button on us and zoning out into our chest the entire time, but just listen, put your best effort into the relationship. Also, guys will cheat. It's a fact, maybe one day you will find the right guy who wouldn't ever cheat on you, I'm sure he is out there. Until that guy comes though, you're going to have to kiss some frogs. Don't give up on men entirely though, going through a few douche-bags will make the final one worth while. Another thing us women think about men- No man has a perfect past. Don't try to find all of his hidden secrets, there are some things he wants to leave in the past. Let them stay there. Don't expect your boyfriend to be perfect, expect your soul mate to be perfect, and odds are he won't be your first boyfriend. I'm just being honest.

Boys will be boys, while they are young most of them will only think about sex. Not all of you do, but for the sake of this post- most of you do.
Girls will be girls, while we are young we will hold you boys to standards that are unfair. We don't mean to but we do.
Relationships are screwed up while we are young, that's why you learn now so you know what to do when you are older and ready to settle down with a person you truly love.