The Principles of a Friendship

“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You too? I thought I was the only one.”
― C.S. Lewis

Let's talk about the importance of having a friend.

And I mean a true friend, one you can tell all your secrets to, and don't have to worry what you look like, act like, or do around them.

I want you to mentally make a list of all of the people you consider friends, and I want you to take into consideration the following:

Do you hang out with this person often?

Do you tell your secrets to them?

If they were to call you crying, would you drop everything and run to them?

I'm sure you answered "Yes! of course!" to every single one of those question, and that makes you a good friend, but now I want you to reverse two of those questions.

Do they tell you all of their secrets?

If you called them up crying would they drop everything and call you?

Has your answer changed for a few of those people that you considered your friends? I'll bet at least of your answers changed, and if not congrats! You really know your stuff when it comes to friends!

It's not your fault if you thought this person was really your friend, and you need to know that it's not their fault either.

It's just how life works! You are going to lose people and you are going to gain some people in return! You may gain people who you keep in your life, or you may figure out that some of the people you gain are easily disposable.

 

I promise you that one day you will find a group of people who will see you as the amazing Diamond that you are, and they will be your closest friends.

Romantic-Intolerant

There's no hiding the fact that all females want romantic attention at one time or another.

But the real question is: How much of the attention do we actually want?

I'm not saying I'm a heart breaker, but I have gotten unwanted attention from guys before. It's funny though, because you want a boy to tell you that your pretty and that they think about you, but when it's boy who you aren't very interested in the feeling is the opposite.

You get a little creeped out and want to tell him to stop but that little voice in the back of your head goes, "Don't tell him to stop, you're overreacting! Don't be the bitch!" And thanks to that little voice, we don't tell the guy how creepy he is being.

In a way though, us girls do ask for the attention. with all of the Twitter posts of "Why am I still single?! #ForeverAlone"

 So when this attention comes to us, why are we so repellent of it?

I am a strong believer that most modern day American women are what I like to call "Romantic-intolerant."

We grow up watching watching movies where the prince saves the princes and everybody lives happily ever after. Then we hit puberty, and we watch movies like The Notebook, and expect kisses in the rain, and boys to build houses to win our hearts over. Then comes high school, and you finally realize that you should lower your expectations. We suddenly realize Maybe Ryan Gosling was reading from a script and all boys aren't Prince Charmings?

Ouch. I think that hurt like a brick in the head when we came to that realization.

I'm not trying to give boys a bad reputation, or tell you to completely drop your expectations and marry a man who works at a gas station.

I'm just saying it's a fact that with all of the things we have been exposed to in this world, it's hard to think a guy isn't full of bullshit (Pardon my French!) when he reads you poems, buys you amazing gifts, and tells you how hopelessly in love with you he is.

Women don't want to feel needed. We want to feel wanted.
And trust me, creepy gentlemen, there's a difference.

Do We Need the Tears?

It's only natural for girls to spend their time in class daydreaming about the most perfect relationship. Meeting Mr. Perfect one warm summer night by the beach across the campfire. You both become extremely close, and then he sweeps you off your feet, and he romances you. You think your life is just as perfect as all of those Nicholas Sparks films.

But what happens when Mr. Perfect isn't Mr. Right?

Is their such a thing as an ideal break-up?

Not the kind where you have to leave, and you go home, and he writes you for a year, and you run into each other three years later and you both never really stopped loving each other.

I am talking about you both walk away without any hard feeling and wish each other the best in life, and just leave. Maybe you could cross paths later, but it would be like seeing an old friend, not a lost love.

To be honest, that's what Derek and I had. I had always felt that we walked away from our relationship wishing only the best for each other, and I feel free to call him up whenever I have a problem, or just need someone to talk to.

But here's the problem.

Now every boy I will ever date will be held to the expectation of perfect Derek.

That may not seem like a problem, because it keeps my expectations high, but think about it this way:


Without the messy gross break up Derek may always be "the one" for me in the back of my mind.

With out the screaming of "I hate you!" and "You're worthless!" Derek will always be perfect, and I know myself well enough to know why I can't deal with that. I can't walk away from something like that, knowing there was a possibility of more.

What I am trying to say is, I guess I would prefer the extremely upsetting break up, in which i spent three days sobbing, and then have one of those nights to get my mind off things, and go out dancing with my friends.

A relationship is hard, but break ups can be even harder if you don't do them right.

"This Is MY Bubble!" & Pulling a "Derek"

Do you remember when you where in about the first grade, and every time the kid next to you put his elbow on your desk you would say, "Hey! Get out of my bubble!"

I remember being so particular about my bubble.

However once you finally leave the first grade and make you way to high school you may come to realize that there is more than one bubble per person.

There still is personal space, don't walk really closely behind someone you don't know. Unless you wan to be a fucking creep.

There is also the bubble in their heads, some people don't let people that close to them because of personal experiences.

But today I would like to talk about what I like to call "The Relationship Bubble." Which seems pretty self- explanatory, but for all of my fellows blonds out there I will explain anyways. Sometimes in a relationship peoplehave certain rules of how they want to be kept to themselves.

Probably my favorite example of this is the third wheel.We all have been a third wheel at one time or another, and if you haven't yet I promise your time will come. Now I have been a third wheel once, and let me tell you a few things to do while being a third wheel:

1. Don't try to enter in a conversation. Your whole job is to be there. Literally that is is. Just be there.

And that's about all their is to being a third wheel.

Moving on.

Another form of the relationship bubble may be how private someone wants to be about their relationship. Maybe this person doesn't want a lot of people to know. Maybe you want to pull a "Derek" and not really have anyone know until the relationship is pretty much over.

Lets talk about why pulling a "Derek" is a good thing. Personally I chose to do that because I know what I do to my friends when they get a boyfriend. I tease them. I look him up on Facebook and Twitter. I try to call him up on her phone and then hand her the phone the second he picks up so its really awkward for her. Yeah. I didn't want that to happen to me.

However I do have one friend, Jessie, and today she told my class that if she were to ever have a boyfriend she would throw her hands up in the air and say "EVERYONE LISTEN UP! I HAVE A BOYFRIEND!" You go Jessie.

I get Jessie's point, and I agree with it for her. However just considering the group of friends I hung out with during my time with Derek I figured keeping it on the down-low wouldn't have been such a bad idea.

So my Diamonds, I want you all to close your laptops after reading this, and realize that you have every right to define a space for yourself. Whether it be in a relationship, or when that smelly guy sits too close to you on the bus. It's all up to you.

It's ALWAYS Time for a First

Today I saw something that I had never seen before.

Today my mother was filling out a job resume.

I know that my mother works, she's not really one of those "Stay- At-Home" moms, she's the kind of lady who has all of her priorities set. However I have never seen her actually fill out an application like that, it was so professional.

I had just gotten home from a really long walk, and I saw her sitting on the couch. I sat next to her and watched her filling out her application.

There was something in her eyes that I'd never seen before. I couldn't exactly tell if it was determination or fear, maybe it was a little bit of both.

I am just so proud of my mother. She's almost 50 years old, and she keeps trying new things. This is her first job resume, every other job just required an interview.

I guess the idea of getting married and having children scares me a little ( a lot). I am terrified that when I have children my daily life will become a cycle.

Wake up.
Make breakfast.
Make Lunch.
Send kids off to school.
Send husband off to work.
Clean.
Go food shopping.
Come home.
Put the food away.
Kids come home.
Make snack for the kids.
Help kids with homework.
Make dinner.
Husband comes home.
Eat dinner.
Get kids ready for bed.
Story time.
Bedtime.
Repeat.


Seeing my mother filling out that resume made me realize that I don't have to become that women. Her "first" of making a resume made me leave my fear. I realized that now I can do things with out any fear.

I can go ride a really fast roller coaster. I could wear heels to school. I could try living on my own. I could write a book and accept the rejection it would get from publishers. I could apply to Harvard. I could open my heart to a serious long-term relationship.

So my Diamonds, get yourself out there. You will never gain anything if you don't allow yourself to lose everything. Go make today a first.

Nana's Reality Check.

The cold hard reality of the new year has hit us.

That is my overly dramatic way of saying that you have probably found out how hard it is to keep up all of your New Years resolutions.

And I wanted to let you know that you aren't alone!

I have many resolutions and I know how hard it is to keep them up, but I wanted you to know how amazing the feeling is when you complete them.

Over the past sixteen years of my life I have probably only completed a handful of resolutions, and since none of them are that interesting, I haven't experienced the emotions of completing a great goal, but my Nana did.

My Nana quit smoking several years ago, because my younger cousin once told her, "Nana if you keep smoking how are you going to be able to come to my wedding in ten years?" (she was five at the time, so getting married in tens years wasn't really going to happen, but you get the point.)

That is what I like to call "Nana's reality check." She quit smoking the next year and she is happier than ever. I can see in her eyes that she has found this new joy in life in which she does spend thousands of dollars a year on cigarettes, a world where she can spend all day with her family without having to go take a smoke every hour.

That feeling of an amazing accomplishment that my Nana had is sort of what I am looking for in my New Years resolution. I want this feeling of over whelming pride. A moment in which I can brag, just for a day (because I hate when people brag unless they really deserve it), but all my friends will smile and nod at me bragging because they know how hard I have worked for it! That's what I want, and I know I have to work for it, but I'm just fine with it.

Now my Diamonds I will leave you with this piece of advice I always remind myself before I back out of something.

The world won't go around looking for you if your hiding. Put yourself out there and only good things will come in the very end.