Excuse Me Gentlemen?

Alright Ladies it's time for us to have a very important conversation.
About Men.
And boys, it really wouldn't hurt if you paid some attention to this. You might be able to pick up a few things about being a gentlemen, or learning what girls like so you can get them to fall in love with you easier, or easier to get to bed. Lets be honest you will still be boys...

I decided to write about his because one of my closest friends, Marrissa, just got out of a pretty rocky relationship. Marrissa had a crush on Aden at the end of last year, and after some small convincing for Marrissas' friends Aden asked her out. I thought they were a total power couple, but any relationship with Marrissa in it is a power relationship, because that girl can kick ass. One day I was at my friend Lizzie's house for a small party, and Marrissa was there. She seemed upset for most of the party, but tried to avoid having a bad time. When we finally asked her what was wrong she replied with, "Today was my one-month. Aden totally forgot." Don't ask us girls why your one-month anniversary is a big deal, we aren't completely sure why, but it is. So remember it.

I wanted to tell Marrissa to leave him, but I didn't. Her relationship wasn't my relationship. I didn't know the whole story, and telling her to leave him would probably have only upset her even more. So I did what any friend would do, I told her he probably forgot, and feels terrible.

Marissa and Aden eventually ended things. But I don't see a problem with it, she wasn't happy in the relationship, and as my friend there is nothing she deserves more then being happy.

Now what was the whole point of this story? What should you girls and boys be taking away from this? Well for starters, don't forget your one-months! Second if you do- make it up to the person!

But aside from Marrissa's story, I want to base my own opinions about relationships, especially relationships at this age.

First I think the women in relationships are held to unrealistic standards. Boys, listen a girl is not going to sleep with you after two months, she may not even sleep with you within a year of your relationship. Also stop expecting every girl to be a DD-cup ok? Not every girl has JWOWW's boobs and ass. Respect a girl for her heart, not body.

Secondly, I think us girls also hold men to a semi-unfair standard. We expect a boy to remember EVERYTHING we have EVER said, and that's a little unrealistic. I'm not saying you boys can get away with hitting the mute-button on us and zoning out into our chest the entire time, but just listen, put your best effort into the relationship. Also, guys will cheat. It's a fact, maybe one day you will find the right guy who wouldn't ever cheat on you, I'm sure he is out there. Until that guy comes though, you're going to have to kiss some frogs. Don't give up on men entirely though, going through a few douche-bags will make the final one worth while. Another thing us women think about men- No man has a perfect past. Don't try to find all of his hidden secrets, there are some things he wants to leave in the past. Let them stay there. Don't expect your boyfriend to be perfect, expect your soul mate to be perfect, and odds are he won't be your first boyfriend. I'm just being honest.

Boys will be boys, while they are young most of them will only think about sex. Not all of you do, but for the sake of this post- most of you do.
Girls will be girls, while we are young we will hold you boys to standards that are unfair. We don't mean to but we do.
Relationships are screwed up while we are young, that's why you learn now so you know what to do when you are older and ready to settle down with a person you truly love.

The Multiple Interpretations of LOVE.

I once spent an entire weekend watching re-runs of Sex and the City. I imagined if I could ever be Carrie Bradshaw, running up and down the streets of Manhattan, chasing men, putting myself into terrible relationships, buying $800 shoes, but most of all I wondered if I could ever write a column for a news paper. A column about Sex, Relationships, and Love. Not you typical,"Will I find love?" but more along the lines of "Does Love even exist?" Now as a teenager, it may seem pretty drastic and unreasonable for me to be asking those kinds of questions. I'm young, I should be having fun, not putting myself into a legit relationship.

As a girl growing with my background and my culture, I don't want to be married until I'm in my twenties. If I didn't get married in my twenties or early thirties I would want to live the life my Great Aunt lived. My great aunt was a fashion designer in New York City, she was completely devoted to her work. I'm sure she had the typical "New York Love Life," which usually consists of great lovers, but no long-term serious relationships. When she retired and eventually went to North Carolina, she met her true love. Mac. He was the sweetest gentlemen, after they dated for several years he asked her to marry him, but since she was still a New Yorker at heart since declined his marriage offer and just kept the title of "girlfriend" which is all she ever knew.

The reason I shared my Aunts story with you ties back into the idea of  "Does Love Even Exist?" I believe love does exist, but you have to get off you ass and find the person. And once you find that person,don't just put a label on that person. Yes you are aloud to call them your "Boyfriend/Girlfriend," but hold their fucking hand. I'm sorry but if you are afraid to hold you partners hand, then please just get out of that relationship. You need to have lust, passion, and heat in your relationship if you want it to survive. You also need to perfectly balance that lust with friendship, or else in a few years you will get sick of each other because you have nothing to offer each other except sex.

I believe Love comes in many different forms, family, loves, friends, and soul mates. So why does everyone in the world strictly believe you have to marry your high school sweetheart and have two perfect children with them? I feel the like the idea of a perfect life has ruined peoples chances of actually having a life! So go out there and live your life, you are only a teenager once.

The Complicated Mind of Boys?

Lets be honest with each other for a brief moment: Girls will spend the rest of their lives trying to understand boys.

Now, boys, I know what you are all saying "We aren't as complicated as you guys make us out to be!" and I understand that, you guys don't have the complexity of a mindset that we have, but I still find myself thinking through complex scenarios about why a boy gave me his number over a Facebook chat without me asking,  or why the guy I like won't talk to me after he finds out about my crush on him. I understand the answer could be as simple as "He just wants to talk to you" or "He's just not that into you" but I will keep thinking of every possibility until I stumble cross the one that flatters me the most.

For example, today I told my friend Steve about Forrest's and Maddie's situation, I mentioned how the most recent development was Forrest "liking" Maddie's picture on Facebook of her in her homecoming dress (which cost like $300 so she better have gotten a "like" out of someone for that). I asked Steve if this meant anything and he told me that Forrest probably liked Maddie, which I found shocking, not that Forrest likes Maddie, but that Steve would admit that was probably the case. Steve told me that whenever he likes a girl he will go through their Facebook wall.

A relief to women! We aren't the only ones!

Steve's honesty made me realize that I am so far off with boys, maybe boys aren't really that far off from girls as I thought they were. Which reminds me of one time I was in a sleep away camp, and a few girls and I snuck over to the boys cabin and watched them through a window, only because my friend Lexi had a crush on one of the boys Chris. What I saw through that window was shocking, it was like looking through a mirror, a gender changing mirror, they boys were having pillow fights, sitting around in a circle talking, and playing silly stupid games. I can't remember what Lexi found out about Chris that night, but for the rest of that week I couldn't look at any of those boys the same. Not in the bad way, like I had walked in on them painting their nails, or perming their hair, but in a sense that I wasn't so scared to talk to them like I would talk to one of my girl friends.

So maybe women have had it wrong all along, maybe men aren't as far away as we think they are. I still doubt men spend restless nights thinking about the girl they love, with an ache in their stomach, but I guess they do actually stalk us on Facebook, but that's flattering and we like that most of the statuss' we make are about you boys anyways. I think today has officially given me a new insight on boys, maybe now I can move on from the old heartbreaks, because if the guy can move on and get over me, I can definitely get over him.

The Spirit of Homecoming

It starts with an amazing mixture of winning what seems to be the most important football game your high school will ever play, add in a generous dose of music, a dance floor, and heels that are too high to walk in, and end it all with a dash of memories that will never be forgotten. Viola! You've just created your own Homecoming!

Now I don't know how homecoming is in every town, but from what I can tell you its a big deal, but only for girls. We buy the dresses that send our parents into a small debt, go out for manicures & pedicures, and even though we know we will complain about it later, we buy heels that are taller than every other girls heels. Did you know tall girls give the best hugs?

All that remains missing from our perfectly planned night is our Prince Charming. Whats a single girl to do when Prince Charming won't take her to the ball? Well that easy, she goes with a bunch of her single girls. Some girls, are newly single, and due to heartbreak need to dance their ass off and make that guy so jealous, while she's grinding with a new boy. That's usually their intent at least, but usually the girl ends up crying in the bathroom or leaving early.

Now, I am a strong believer that the weekend of Homecoming has some sort of magic to it. Homecoming is the "Make or Break" of relationships. If you are in a steady relationship with a boy and you are in love, Homecoming does not concern you. Homecoming concerns the "few" people in the world who are looking for love.
For example: A Friend of mine,  Charlotte, had a pretty dramatic summer.

Charlotte was in a theatre program this summer and fell head over heels for a fellow thespian, Harry. Now Harry had a few past relationships, and Charlotte had never been able to get past one date with a boy. Charlotte's biggest fear was if Harry liked her back or not, and if he did like her back the possibility of a relationship would occur, and Charlotte was worried she didn't have enough experience with boy to date Harry. I cannot stress how many nights we stayed up texting, me the calm reasonable one, Charlotte the frantic romantic who was afraid of making out in the back of the movie theatre.

Eventually school began, and Charlotte didn't have as much time to text me about Harry, so you could imagine my surprise when I see Charlotte at the homecoming dance with a boy! I sneak over to her during a song, hug her, compliment her dress, and ask her "Who's this?" as I point to the boy she was standing with. she smiles and replies "Fred!"  I smile and when Fred's back is turned i quickly gesture towards him and raise my eyebrows. She shakes her head and mouths a huge "NO!" as if she were disgusted with me asking. I put my hands up and walk back over to my dance group. The day after Homecoming Charlotte confesses to me that she think she has a crush on Fred. BOOM. Homecoming magic. She only went with Fred to Homecoming because she  knew she didn't have a crush on him, but know she does. Who's to blame but the Ghost of Homecomings' present?

On the other side of the love spectrum, there's my friend Maddie. Maddie has had a crush on Forrest for a little under a year now. and back in July Forrest asked her out for some coffee. You could only imagine how happy and eager she was to say yes! However Forrest never really set a time and date for the coffee date... when Maddie told me about this during school I immediately snatched her phone and texted Forrest "Hey, so how about that coffee date?" It took him six hours to respond with a "Sure what time and day is good for you?" And thus, began the planning of Maddie's and Forrest's wedding. However, come homecoming season we were all waiting for Forrest to ask Maddie to the dance, and when it was coming up of the week OF HOMECOMING I texted Forrest asking him what his plans where for the evening. And he said he already had a date. And the date wasn't Maddie. Needless to say we hate Forrest now, but Karmas' a real bitch because guess whose date bailed on them the night before homecoming? That's right, Forrest went to homecoming dateless and watched Maddie have the time of her life with all of her friends. A proud SINGLE girl.

Now I'd be lying if I said to you that I wasn't hoping a certain boy would ask me to homecoming, but looking around the dance floor that night for my Prince Charming would have been pointless. And I like to think I found more happiness in watching my friends have a better time. I danced the night away, like any girl would have. Every girl gets their night to feel like a princess, I already had mine back in August, so watching my Friends have theirs at a high school dance was surprisingly rewarding.