Breakthrough

Do you know what scary? I'm not talking "Halloween scary" or "trying to survive a hurricane scary". I mean emotional scary, something that gets your heart racing and your stomach in a knot.

What I'm talking about is letting someone become close to you.

Not like making friends, I've come to find that friends will love you no matter what shit you do. They laugh at your mistakes and tease you when you do something really stupid, or they find out about the weird things you do.

Not like that, I'm talking about letting some one into your life that you see an intimate future with.

Just the other day I had what people refer to as a "breakthrough." I realized that I will avoid any situation in which a person becomes to close to me. I realized this after thinking about my ]relationship last summer.

Then I began to wonder why, why am I afraid of letting people close to me? Whats the worst that could happen?

And of course, just because of my lifestyle the answer came to me in an episode of Sex and the City. I realized that I wouldn't let people close to me because they would suddenly see my flaws, and I would get hurt.

I said it before, I'm not perfect. And this breakthrough only proves it. However I know so many other girls AND boys go through this. If the person you like get close to you, they suddenly realize all the flaws you have that weren't quite there before.

Suddenly the big things become obvious, like things that happened in your past that you would like to forget. Family issues that you felt you were safe from in this relationship.

Even the small things seem like earthquakes to the stability of the relationships foundation, like how you are terrible at separating your laundry colors, or how you wear a really gross retainer at night.

I'm sorry if I have officially scarred any of you into getting close with someone, but I want to let you know that you will find someone some day who will think that the way you talk with a retainer in is cute, or will hug and support you when those family issues come up, and they won't judge your past because they also have their own. As for the laundry thing, ladies you might have to work on that if you plan on winning "best housewife of the year," but if not I'm sure some guys don't really mind if their whites accidentally turn out pink.

Now diamonds, I always want to be honest with you in thins blog, and that's why I am telling you all of this. If you can't relate to me now, I guarantee you one day you will look back on this and say to yourself  "Damn, that girl really had it all figured out!" but I don't completely. I'm still only a teenager, I guess just realize things really quickly.

Crazy Little Thing

It's sort of funny, isn't it? The idea that there is only ONE person out there in the entire world for us, that some how, beyond all other possibilities in the world we will find this one person. Whether it be we meet them online, in high school, or accidentally get pregnant with their child at a random hook up coming home from the bar? Hey, it could happen!

My point is, when you put the idea in you mind that love is the end-all be-all thing about life, it's hard to get that out.

I look at the statics, "there's a 60% divorce rate in America", "men will always cheat", "no one actually ends up happy in the end".

At one point I feel like I am literally going to yell out "STOP! IN THE NAME OF LOVE JUST STOP!" And shouldn't we all?

As a teenage girl who is probably over-exposed to romance movies and TV shows, I'd like to believe that true love exists. I like to think that there is one man out there for me who will treat me with respect, love me, want my children, and will enter the world of monogamous relationships with me.

Now I will admit that my view on love changes every five minutes. However the statement above holds true. I will also admit this, I know those expectations are some-what high. But if I don't respect myself enough to aim for a person who will treat me right for the rest of my life, then who will?

That also ties into something else I have learned about love, before you can ever love another person, you have to love yourself, I know I have probably said this a million times, but it's true.

Love is complicated, there is no such thing as a perfect cookie-cutter relationship. For examples my mom and dad were friends before they started going out they dated for two years, even thought they both knew they were eventually going to be married by the second dated. My aunt knew she would marry my uncle the second she saw him, before she even said hello. Sally and Mark had been friends since forever, and it took them up until last spring to get married.

So sometimes love comes to you, and sometimes it doesn't come as soon as you would think. My great-aunt use to work for Vogue. I'm not quite sure what she did in the magazine, however I know she loved working there, her job and lifestyle was so demanding and up-beat that she didn't have time for a relationship. She didn't have a boyfriend until just recently when she retired in North Carolina.

So to wrap-up this love fest, I just want to point out to my diamonds that they don't need a boyfriend/girlfriend in their lives to be happy, and long as you are accompanied by a bunch of other diamonds, you are going to be just fine. In my attempt to quote Carrie Bradshaw "I figured out that once you already have three soul mates figured out, it's really easy to spot those really great guys."

Don't Compare.

I know I mentioned before that there are girls out there who try so hard to seem flawless, but they end up looking bad. Well I failed to mention that there are those girls, who do have it all. And they don't even realize they do, and they make us feel terrible about ourselves.

For example, when Carrie Bradshaw found out that her ex-love, Big, was recently married she acted like she didn't care but when she read the article she cried, and simply said "It's because she's a fashion writer, she's Chanel, she's Vera Wang. And I'm the sex column they run next to ads for implants."

Now I didn't get that quote totally right, but the point is that Carrie feels bad about herself because she compared herself to this woman. I also feel a connection to her because I'm sure as hell not a cheerleader, I'm just a blogger trying to maintain a GPA that will keep me in the National Honor Society.

Now I know that every girl has compared herself to another girl at one point in time. I've compared myself to my friends, relatives, and, of course, those models who seem perfect. However I ask myself all the time why I do that. I don't look just like my friends, that doesn't make me ugly by any standards. And so what? I don't look like a model, most of then are photo shopped and/or go for weeks without eating. I don't want to go through those extremes just to get my face in the Target shopping catalog.

I don't aspire to be a model, an actress, or a famous pop-singer. I aspire to be a news broadcaster, and when I am on CNN reporting about the economy, or the presidential debates, I don't want people to judge the way I look. It's not what I'm there for. I am going to be there so that I can deliver the news to people.

Now, yes I know that being a news broadcaster will put me in the public eye, and I am sure I will receive comments about how I look. However that doesn't and won't matter to me. Honestly it shouldn't matter to anyone what anyone says about them.

Remember that "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent" - Eleanor Roosevelt

No Regrets.

Today lets talk about living with no regrets.

And by talking I mean I'm going to talk and you're going to read, but when you see me tomorrow you can discuss it with me!

Do you have a bucket list? I know what you're thinking," I am a teenager! Why should I have a bucket list? I'll work on that when I an retired." But what worries me sometimes is, what if I don't live into retirement? There is a chance that you may not even make it to tomorrow. Now I'm sorry if that sounds depressing; I know it is, but seriously why would you ever want to put off the things you want to do most?

Personally, I have made some crazy and unrealistic goals for myself, hears my list so far:

1. Co-Host Anderson Live
2. Meet my favorite musical group/ artist
3. Live in New York City
4. Live in San Francisco
5. Work for CNN
6. Go to my dream college
7. Have a long happy marriage

I have many more but those are just the first seven that came to mind. I know some of them sound normal, and others don't, but that's the whole point! You have to dream big when it comes to things like this! You have to shoot for the stars! Like my friend Maddie she wants to become a Rockette, and I know she can, because she's the kind of girl who will stop at nothing to pursue her dreams.

I would also like to think I am that girl. Some one once told me, "Kid, you have no idea how bright you are, and all the things you could accomplish if you just put yourself out there." I was astounded by his words, because he was completely right. The only things stopping me in this world is myself. He actually was the person who suggested I create a blog, and every time I get one hundred more readers I mentally thank him.

Point is if he could see all that potential in me why didn't I see it in myself? This blog alone has already made me realize that putting myself out in the world will only have positive benefits.

So why don't you right now, create a quick bucket list, even if it's one thing, like "I want to meet my real father."  or something even more simple like "I want to tell my mother everyday how much she means to me."

I want to believe that when I am in heaven, or where ever we go after this life, I can look back on it and say "Yeah, I did a pretty good job..." and walk away from my life with no regrets.

Todays Education

This generation will be the first generation EVER in which more women will be receiving a higher education than men.

As a feminist this makes me happy. However it also brings up the decision that most women will have to face, "Would I be willing to marry or even date a man who has less of an education than me?"

My opinion on that question? It depends, if he dropped out of high school and became a very successful actor/ musician, then yes. If he dropped out of high school so he could work full-time at the Burger King, then no.

Truth about women is we want someone who we can lean on, we want someone who can provide for us. And marrying a man with only a high school diploma, while we have our masters degree in communications, doesn't exactly seem like the kind of relationship I would want to be in, quite frankly. However I have only sort of been one relationship in my entire life, and I have never been "in love" so who am I to say who I would and wouldn't marry.

I'm just saying that women find men with an education very attractive, why do you think all those men on Wall Street get so many wives?

So ladies, I'm not saying you should lower your expectations. I may have given the advice that some of your expectations are a little too high, and some of them are, but this is different. An education is very important especially in this job market. I am also not saying that you should just stop at high school or just two years at a community college, keep going with your education, especially if it's important to you, who is stopping you besides yourself?

I am however trying to tell you to push you guy friends, your brothers, and you boyfriends into receiving a higher education. Scare them into college by telling them that they wont get laid if they drop out of high school, which is partially true.

So even though we dread getting up at 5 am every Monday morning, focusing on our future career is important. Just keep your goal in mind while you are in your most boring class. When ever I wonder why I have to put up with school, I remind myself that in less than a decade I play on living in the city, and having a very successful job as a newscaster, or writer, and I can own as many pairs of shoes as I want with my very generous paycheck. That's how I am able to make it through most of my dull classes.

So, in conclusion, don't lower yourself to a man who isn't worthy of your brains and don't give up on your education! Think of all those poor shoes who won't have a home!

Anti-Bullying Month

I've been wanting to write a post about bullying since the beginning of this month, since it is national anti-bullying month. I had been waiting for the right time to do it, but today seems like the perfect day since I was in fact bullied today.

Lets start today with an interesting statistic, did you know studies show 50% of children don't want to go to school simply because they feel bullied, and unsafe? I personally never understood this study until today.

Now I wont go into detail about the conversation, but I will tell you it, but ended with her laughing at me. Not with me, but AT me. I literally felt like the laughing lasted five minutes. It hurt, because I was talking about something important to me, but she just kept laughing at me. The worst part was up until today I considered her to literally be one of my closest friends, she stuck with me throughout my Sally crisis last year, and I valued her friendship and opinion over a lot of peoples.

I still want to be her friend and I did talk to her about it over text today as to why she laughed at me, I couldn't say it to her face because I would have probably cried, and if there is one thing I never do it's cry in front of people.

The incident happened in the beginning of the day, so for the entire day I was completely zoned-out. I was angry at her for laughing at me, but over-all I was angry at myself. I had a million thoughts run through my head, all of which were completely wrong "Maybe I should just stop being friends with her" "Maybe I should stop valuing peoples friendships so much, they all end anyways" or "I should just go home." When that last thought came to mind I realized that I had been bullied, and I had become a statistic. I wanted to go home, because I had been hurt.

However I knew better than to stop being friends with this girl, sure, our friendship probably won't ever be the same again. I saw a different side of her today that I didn't even knew existed, but I'm not going to drop her cold-turkey.

And I have this blog to thank for that. I think I am beginning to realize that this blog is actually helping me. If it were a year ago I would have ignored my friend for saying things like what she said to me today, but instead i talked to her, and admitting our friendship won't return to what it was is pure honesty. I don't know if I ever want that to happen again to me, so I'll protect myself from not letting it happen.

What I want you to take away from this blog is simply this: Please think about the tings you say, and when you make a mistake do your best to give a sincere apology, not a half-ass one.

Remember that we are all diamonds, but our hearts can be made of glass, and those shatter easily.

Don't Be Perfect: Be A Diamond

I hate to be a "Debby-Downer" but I'm sorry to say, you aren't perfect.

We have created this image in our heads of what perfection truly is, and she is a beautiful girl who excels in everything she does. Honestly, most of us try to be her, we want to get into our perfect college, we want to start all of the trends, and we want to be dating the best boyfriend!

Realistically we can't, and there isn't a single thing wrong with that. Whats wrong is trying to be this perfect girl, and trying so hard to be her that you end up becoming a bitch.

Like a friend of mine, who's name I will not say. She tries so hard to be perfect that when she talks to you it's degrading. Every time I make a joke about something she thinks I'm serious, so she takes me for an idiot. She also believes she is so beyond community college that every time I say "Yeah, I'm considering community college for financial reasons..." she will immediately say, "I'm not working my butt-off in high school so I can go to some community college!"

Gee thanks, have you ever considered how that made me feel after you said that? No. You didn't. You don't know what its like teaching yourself to be financially responsible at the age of eight so that you will be able to afford a college education, or a new guitar for Christmas. So don't go running around thinking you are THAT beyond me. Trying to be perfect will only make you look like a bitch, I know that I throw the word "bitch" around a lot, 99% of the time I am totally joking, but when I call this girl a bitch, I honestly mean it, simply because she puts me down like that.

Don't try to be perfect. I think everyone should try to be like my friend Maria, I like to compared her to a diamond. She's beautiful, and she's strong, like most girls.

We should excel in everything that we can do, like me for instance. I am good at blogging, being an Anderson Cooper fan, and trying to be a good friend. Maybe I'm not the BEST at those three things (but lets be honest I'm amazing at loving Anderson), but I try my best in them and i accept the things I suck at. For example french braiding hair, if I french braid my hair it's because I am going to wear a softball helmet, so it'll look bad anyways.

So I personally want to inspire any girls, and the two boys that I'm pretty sure read this blog..., to aspire to be diamonds. Stay strong and stay beautiful.

Who's Really the Ugly One?

Don't lie, we have all said it before, "Ugh, she's so ugly." "What an ugly bitch."or the classic "Who? Her? the ugly one?"

Now my opinion on the word ugly is that I frankly hate it. As a girl who has had self esteem issues since elementary school I feel like saying words like that are harsh, and you shouldn't say that to a person.

However there is an exception to every rule.

Research shows that if someone acts two-faced or just flat-out mean towards you, the flaws of her face suddenly became obvious in your mind, and you remember her as being extremely ugly. Contrary to that, if a person is genuinely nice, and funny, and caring, you're going to see her as a very pretty person. I'm not quite sure how that works, but think about it a little, it makes sense.

Now why did I bring this topic up?

Ever since elementary school when I had my insecurities I vowed to myself that I would never hate a person until I got to know them, and I would never call a girl ugly behind her back, unless I meant it towards her personality. Ever since then the word ugly has just been a, well, an ugly word for me. I feel like people only say it to hide their own insecurities.

"Calling somebody else fat won't make you any skinnier. Calling someone stupid doesn't make you any smarter."

OK so if Cady was right in that quote than calling someone ugly won't make you any prettier, and because that is a mean thing to say it will really only make you look uglier in peoples eyes.

Today my sister used the word "ugly" twice while I was having a conversation with her. Both times she was talking about people whom she didn't know. I was ashamed, I corrected her both times, but she just became mad at me, and I think I know why. She knew it was wrong to call those people ugly because she didn't know them, so when I called her out on it she became embarrassed.

Which makes me want to bring up a point: When you call someone out on being a bully, or saying something mean to you they will immediately lose power. Their body language closes up and their voice becomes timid, that or they will start over-reacting which will only make them look like a complete bitch.

So listen, I know that people are still going to use the word ugly, I can't stop the freedom of speech you have, but I am saying that you should probably think twice before saying it next time. Especially if you don't know the person.

It's Your Choice.

It's the most asked question every four years, "Who are you voting for, for President?" HOWEVER  people usually answer that question, and that is the end of the story, but I think you should begin a conversation on why you are voting for this person!

Who would I vote for if I was old enough? Easy, I'd vote for Obama. Quit with your groaning and eye rolls, I'm not 100% with Obama.

But there is no way in hell I am voting for Romney.

Why? Because Mitt Romneys' views on gay marriage and abortion are disgusting.

Lets address the gay marriage first: who is Mitt to tell people whether or not they are in love? I have many gay and lesbian relatives, and the fact that there are still people out there who think they are sinful or that they "chose their lifestyle" sicken me. No one chooses to live a life of rejection, hate, and abuse.

Let's think about this realistically, if I met a guy six minutes ago, in Vegas and I was drunk I could get married to him, totally legal. If I have had six husbands before that all ended in a divorce, I could get married again, totally legal. But if you're in a committed relationship with your same-sex partner for 20 years you can't marry him/her because of your gender? I would also like to point out that there are more states in this country in which you can have sex with your horse than there are which gay marriage is legal. There are also more states where you can get married to your first cousin (banjo music). So Romney, I'm not telling you that I'm mad at you for having sex with your horse, or that your wife is really your first cousin, but your hurtful beliefs in what love really is, is actually hurting people. So change your opinion.

I would also like to point out that in the bible it says that all love is Gods love, so isn't denying love, even gay love, denying God? (ha ha. Got you bitch, think twice before messing with me Mitt!)

Second. Abortion. Listen Romney I am going to make this very easy for you to understand.

Until you have a vagina, quit trying to tell me what to do with mine.

Understandable? Thought so.

So I would like to say that I don't hate Mitt Romney, I can't hate someone I don't care about. I do hate his opinions, and how they affect people who don't deserve such hate.

Anyways that is just my political opinion, but I can't vote so I just wanted to voice my thoughts, and see if this got anyone thinking about the up coming election and what is important to them.

Why Do We Change Ourselves?

So lets be honest, most of the people in the world, boy or girl, do not like their physical appearance 100%. We all have that one thing, our nose is crocked, our necks are too long, our legs aren't long enough, or we aren't a size zero.

And because of this we change ourselves. In small ways we wear certain clothing, wear make up,and  dye our hair. These are the simple little things that we do, which mostly boost our confidence and we usually can get a few compliments out of them.

Sadly there are drastic measures people take to try and fit in, my friend Michaela was one of those girls who used drastic measures to become beautiful. First you have to understand, Michaela was in no way fat, but she  assumed since she didn't have a boyfriend that there must be something wrong with her. Michaela took weight loss pills that were meant for obese people and she ate nothing but celery, because celery has negative calories (You burn more calories chewing it than you actually consume). She also exercised about three hours everyday. Which is not a bad thing, but considering you aren't eating anything, that is extremely dangerous.

Michaela's bad habits caught up to her, she became very sick and had to be hospitalized for four days. She was dangerously skinny, and her body was about ready to shut-down.

Now why did I just ruin your day with a very unhappy story? Because I think girls, and boys too, are held to unrealistic standards.

I'm not saying to not straighten your hair in the morning or put on make-up because I think it's wrong, I don't. I wear make up and do my hair, I'm saying don't bash on people when they don't. It's disgusting, and it doesn't make you a better person.

We should be changing our appearance because we want to, not because we feel obligated to because people are harassing us into it.

So next time you tell someone something, what ever it be try to ask yourself, "How will this make this person feel?"

Sorry if I sound like an annoying, middle-aged high school counselor, but honestly I am kind of sick of watching my friends get hurt over these things. After Michaela I didn't really want to take anymore chance. And if anyone of you ever feel like you aren't good enough, or that you aren't a super-model, just remember that you can define your own beauty.

I'm A Girl In Progress Too.

My sister and I have a tradition that if we are both free on a Saturday or Friday night we will rent two movies out of the Redbox and watch them together. Our rules are that we will always get a comedy, and along with the comedy we will either get an action movie, or we will get a movie that looks absolutely terrible.

Last night was our tradition movie night, and we got a comedy The Five Year Engagement and we got a movie which we thought would be terrible Girl In Progress.

We had seen the previews for Girl in Progress before, and it looked like a pretty boring story so we figured we would get it. By the end of the movie we realized how completely wrong we were about our judgments on the movie.

The movie is a coming-of-age story about a teenage girl who is being raised by a young, single mother. This girl, Ann, resents her mother because she comes home late after drinking with her boyfriend ( a married man), this causes Ann to do all of the house work, and take care of her mother, because her mother doesn't take care of her.

Ann's teacher tells her class about a  "Coming- of-Age- story," and how it is one's journey through childhood into adulthood. Her teacher explains that's the protagonist of the story must go through his/her "Rites of Passages" on their way to adulthood. Ann is mislead and thinks that if she goes through these steps she can leave her mother and start her own life.

Therefore Ann begins her own coming-of-age story.

First she has to become identified as a good-girl, the kind who says "gosh darn-it!" and wears pigtails while riding on a pink bike with a basket. While she is the good girl she has to do something extra nerdy, so a teacher will recognize her intelligence, and watch as she throws it all away.

Second she has to start being seen with the wrong kind of people, she befriends the schools bad-girl. Ann begins drinking and doing gate-way drugs, she also starts disrespecting her mom, and skipping class. Ann also has to leave her best friend behind to fit in to her new crowd of friends.

Third, and possibly most important, Ann has to lose her virginity, and after that she gets on a bus to New York City and leaves her mother behind.

Now Ann succeeded in everything up to the third step, she did not sleep with the schools bad-boy, but he just tells everyone they did. So Ann loses her friendship with the bad-girl, and she has no one.
Ann quickly gets onto a bus to New York, but her mother stops her.

Ann learns her lesson that becoming an adult doesn't mean she has to leave her friends behind and lose her virginity, she learns that everyone has their own path to adulthood.

Now doesn't this make you wonder if maybe Ann had the right idea? Is there possibly a way to skip to adulthood by just going through a few simply, but bold steps?

I personally disagree, I don't think those steps are necessary, but I find it remarkable how this movie was able to dissect every teenage movie.

Anyways I just wanted to point out that we are all girls in progress. We are all going to leave friends behind at some points, and we are all going to make mistakes and when you sit around wondering why did you do those things, it's simply because it is all apart of you story, and how your story is leading you to become an independent person.

This Girl Is On Fire.

What come to your mind when you think of a hero?

Is it a beautiful man in a cape? Who can fly through the air and same women and children from the evil scientist? Is it a man dressed in a military uniform with a short buzz cut? Is it your mom? Or a public figure that inspires you?

My hero? I have many. My friends are my heroes, my family members are my heroes, any news reporter, firefighter, police officer, or person in the military is a hero to me.

But today I'm not going to talk about those heroes. Not because they don't deserve it, I could talk about them all day. Today however I wanted to talk about the unexpected hero, The Underdog.

I want to talk about Malala  Yousafzai. I know, you have probably never heard of her, but this girl has recently become my role model, and she's only 14 years old.

When Malala was about 11 years old she started a blog speaking out against the Taliban. She spoke out against their belief that women do not deserve a proper education. The Taliban is working on a national ban to eliminate women's education. She believes that women should have the opportunity of an education. Her blog became very popular among women and girls in her country of Pakistan.

On Tuesday October 9th 2012 Malala was riding to bus on her way to school (Yes she does go to school, she just speaks for the others who can't have an education)  When her bus was stopped by a gunman, when the gunman went into the bus he asked which one of the children was Malala. When he found out which one was her, he shot the two girl who were sitting with her. These girls are not in critical care right now, they are expected to be just fine with a full recovery.

Malala was shot directly into the head. Malala is in critical condition and got out of surgery today after they had to remove another bullet that was in her neck.

Now I don't know how you feel about this, and I don't care. This girl is a hero, she performed such a heroic act by defying these people. They had machine guns, and all she had was a computer. And boy, did she use that computer to her advantage.  This girls blog has been featured on a BBC documentary.

However I am terrified for this girls life, even if she does make it out of these surgeries. The Taliban has issued a statement saying that if they didn't kill her this time, they will kill her next time.

I chose not to let people like that scare me. And I am sure Malala feels the same way. She was brave enough to write about these opinions she had, even if she received death-threats from her Government.

I wanted to bring this girl up because she is a hero and she deserves national attention but also because it interests me that these men who are attacking her. Why are they so afraid of what a fourteen year old girl has to say? That makes you think doesn't it?

These men have guns and armies, but she has the truth, and the truth conquers all.

I hope you consider Malala a hero, and I hope she makes it through her critical condition. No educated girl deserves to go through this, just because she had an opinion.

How Far Will You Go?

You know how this goes down. You suddenly fall head over heels for this adorable boy in you history class, and you want ot get him to like you, but how?

Well I personally would like to know that too. Is there possibly a sure-fire-way to get a guy to like you?

I of course did some amazing research on this topic among my friends and on Google. Wikipedia gives you and eight step process to how to get a guy to like you:

1. "Like Yourself"
2. "Make it Clear You're Available."
3. "Get His Attention:
4. "Get him to laugh!"
5."Don't be Afraid to be his friend!"
6. "Do things Together!"
7. "Have Patience"
8. "Keep in mind you can't control his feelings"

I could literally point out a flaw in every single step, but I choose not to because that would make this the longest blog ever.

However I will point out that this is more of a list on how to "Get friend-zoned and rejected."

When it comes to the art of attracting a male,  the best thing to do is turn to your friends. You'll learn that your closest friends will always have the answers.

Like today when I was discussing this with my kick-ass friend Marissa she told me that when she was crushing on Aden she would wear her hair down so he could play with it, even though that was gym class and she would get her hair all messy.

My friend Laurel told me that she one day wore tight pants so the guy she liked would notice her, however she felt so guilty after it because she knew that having a boy stare at your butt all day wasn't the way to get a boys attention.

So what have we learned from my friends boy-attracting-experiences? First having a boy look at your butt isn't the way to get him to like you, and second you should put a little effort into your appearance like Marissa's hair, because that allowed her to be social with Aden.

What I do? I try to make conversation with the guy, like tell him a I like his shirt or smile at him in the hallway, I also dress nice. But every girl does! We can't help it!

Heartbreaks and Aches

"A heart break is a necessity when it come to experiences in life."

This is quote I jokingly said to my friend Maggie on the bus this morning.

Truth be told, I meant it.

I have experienced heartbreak before, it's not fun, you don't walk away from it right after saying "Gee I'm so happy I just spent that entire weekend eating chocolate ice cream while watching Nicholas Sparks films, and listening to my mix tape of Adele and Taylor Swift!" No.

A heartbreak doesn't heal over one weekend. I don't care who you are or what your relationship was like, there is still always emotion left behind. I don't care if you think you are the most amazing person in the world, you don't get over a boy in a day. And guys, if the girl ever meant something to you, you won't get over her in a day either.

Especially if you had sex with them. Scientist have proven that a chemical in a woman's brain in released when she has sex, causing her to attach to that person. Personally? I think this was a lame excused drawn up by male scientist just to show how crazy women are. Which I'm fine with, good job dickheads, doesn't mean we are going to stop doing it.

Anyways, back to my friend Maggie, today while we were riding home on the bus she told me "I figured out a solution to that whole heart-break-thing: Never fall in love in the first place!"

Now I know she was totally kidding because Maggie doesn't seem like the type to give up on love, but she brings up a good point.

Is the heartbreak, and sorrowful emotion you deal with after a relationship even worth it?

My opinion? Yes.

Yes, you'll go through every stage of grief, you'll consume twice your weight in ice cream, and you'll probably watch so many episodes of One Tree Hill that you'll forget your own name, but I promise you'll walk away a better person.

Diamonds a heart break is good every now and then if you can move on from it.

When It's Over

As a teenager I will make my life as complicated as possible.

But I'm really not trying to.

When a girl cries about something it usually means she was very passionate about the matter, or she cared a lot about the thing/person her tears were intended for.

For example, I cry when I hear about a dog being put-down; I cry when I see an inspiring love story on television; I cry when I hear about someone who lost their life to cancer, or is fighting cancer; And I cry when I know something isn't right with one of my friends.

This past couple of weeks I noticed I am losing touch with some of the people I considered to be my closest group of friends. And I didn't truly realize I was drifting away from them until I was sitting in a hotel miles away from them. I guess the physical distance just slammed it into my face that there was also a deep emotional distance.

The worst part? They know you're hurt about it, and they rub that in, just because they want to hide how hurt they are. There isn't a single teenage girl on this earth who wants to be the victim, we want to PLAY the victim, but the truth is we all want the upper-hand in a relationship, even if it is just with our friends. I hate to think I have ever done this to someone.

 I am a believer in a mutual relationship, if you say something that hurts me, I will tell you and I would want you to do the same. If you tell me this in a calm way I will listen to you, but I honestly have to much respect for myself to listen to you talk to me like you are so beyond me. I don't care how long we have been friends. No friend would honestly try to put you down like that.

So for some of my friends I sense our relationship is over. - You ignore me when I try to say something and you don't take me seriously.

I would honestly like to know what goes on in peoples minds when they put people down like that. Are they thinking "Well if I treat her like shit she will treat me like a queen and I can keep her like a little puppy-dog?"

Fuck No Bitch. I can tell you right now that I have plenty of friends who treat me with the respect I deserve, I don't care if we have known each other since preschool, and I have only been friends with these other people for a couple of years. You have changed since preschool. And I have too.

I'm not saying you can't be friends with someone forever, because you totally can. I;m saying a friendship, like any relationship is work, and it needs a mutual sense of respect.

If you don't treat your friends with respect, don't expect to have them for much longer.

Sally's Story

Now I'm sorry to tell you that today's post isn't going to be about my crazy friends and their very dramatic lives, or about how boys are very complicated.

Today I am going to tell you one of the most inspiring things that has happened to me.

But first I have to tell you about Sally, my cousin.

Sally was the most inspiring person I had ever met. She was raped at 15, and gave the child to her neighbors down the street. She finished her high school education and went on to community college. She dreamed of going to Boston University. However, Sally was diagnosed with stage 2 cancer, she got the cancer from some medication she was taking after her pregnancy eventually the doctors realized that her cancer was worse than they had thought, and they told her she had about 2 months to live.

But Sally didn't cry, she decided to make the most of her two months left on the word, she dropped out of college and planned a road trip to see all of the USA. Sally had the most amazing boyfriend, Mark. They had been best friends since ever. I literally cannot think of a time when Sally didn't know Mark. Mark dropped out of college with her so he could spend every waking moment with her.

Mark proposed to Sally while they were in California together. So i got to play "wedding-planner" for 36 hours.

Sally died about two weeks after she married Mark, and we both cried together over the phone.

I don't want you to think this is a sad story, because Sally never thought it was. she always said to me, "If you share this story with anyone else, tell them it's a happy story. I'm happy about it!"

Now to switch gears, I want to talk about sally's little boy, who is just like her. His name is Jackson, and he lives with the couple who lived by Sally their entire lives. The couples names are Oscar and Jim. Yes i know what you're thinking, and yes they are gay. Fucking Deal With It.

Anyways I didn't ever really get to know Oscar and Jim on a personal level, but on Tuesday night I received a phone call from them.

They asked me to be Jackson's God-Mother.

I cried for about five minutes before I could even get a "yes" out. But that's OK because I know they were crying too.

Now I will swear, that you have never heard anything as sweetie as a little 4-year-old call you "Auntie" I won't ever forget hearing that.

Now why did I tell you this story? Mostly because Sally was a big part in my life, and also because I think it is important to tell a story like this and show people how lucky their lives are. If my cousin could die of cancer and still be happy, you can get through your AP Music Theory test just fine. And I hope you remember Sally's story the next time you feel weak, I hope she helps you. She's sure as hell helped me.

Where'd it All Go?

"But if you love someone and you break up, where does the love go?"
-Carrie Bradshaw.

The girl has a point. When we break up with someone or when we decide to not have a crush on them anymore, where do our feelings for that person go?

My kick-ass friend Marissa dropped all feelings for Aden, I guess the point behind that is: If there is nothing left why force it? You're just going to put yourself through a bunch of heartbreaks, and disappointments.

Then there is Maddie and Forrest...

Now I was very proud of Maddie for not following Forrest around like a little puppy during homecoming, or trying to text him everyday afterwards. That made me proud that maybe she would move on and find someone else to ask her out without breaking her heart.

However... Maddie recently dropped some knowledge on me; I asked her if she would ever go out with Forrest again if he asked her.

And she said yes.

I can't exactly remember her reasoning behind this shocking statement, but I think it was along the lines of "It's not like we were dating."

But anyways, I can rant about that topic in another blog post.

So clearly Maddie's feelings for Forrest haven't gone away. Which is a totally understandable, I didn't get over my seventh grade crush until this summer, and I have a friend who still isn't over her seventh grade crush (we both got played, C'est la vie!)

I'm not saying Maddie's being played, I doubt that girl could ever be played, she's too smart.

I'm saying that everyone has ways of getting over the people they once had feelings for. Maddie chooses not to get ride of the feelings, Marissa chooses to drop the feelings because she is strong enough on her own without some dandruff-magnet-boyfriend, and me? Well I had to spend the summer of 10th grade making out with a guy so I could get over my seventh grade crush, clearly I have problems with letting emotions go, but that doesn't matter because I got ride of them.

And that's exactly what you have to do with people you don't have in your life anymore, get ride of them, or win their sorry-ass back.

National Boyfriend Day

So Twitter has officially announced that today is "National Boyfriend Day!"

Now put you hand up if you're single. Yeah I figured you were.

Why is it that people have to advertise their relationship online and make a big fuss that they are "in love?" Has Hollywood made love seem like the most important thing that will ever happen to us and now we have to obtain it and flaunt it? And why would you flaunt it if you already have it? Are you insecure about it? Or are you that much of a bitch that you have to go around and remind all the single people that they are single?

I don't think I have ever had a friends that flaunts her boyfriend in front of me. Which is good because that girl wouldn't stay my friend for long.

Why is it such a big deal to everyone if they have a boyfriend or not?

And I'm sorry if I sound like an unhappy single girl, but I'm not. I just don't understand why people need to make a big deal about their relationships without being asked about them!

Yes, I do understand that showing you affection for one another is great, but since when does that involve making an entire Facebook album of just you two in a lip-lock?

Lets talk about my friend Polly, just because she would love if I wrote about her while I am on this subject.

Polly had a crush on Erwin since the fourth or fifth grade. Finally Erwin decided to ask her out during Freshman year of high school. My friends and I wanted to throw a party, but we decided not to simply because Polly isn't the kind of girl who wants to gush about her boyfriend during a sleepover, she's very conservative. Which I appreciate, because some girls just aren't anymore. I will be honest her lack of telling about her boyfriend may have a tendency to get frustrating and old during a sleepover when all we want to talk about is boys, but that's only a very rare occasion.

Point is: Why can't girls try and be happy in their own relationship with out telling her friends what an "AMAZING kisser he is!!" or how he loves animals, and wants to live in Lima, Ohio with three little girls when he's older. It's your relationship. NOT MINE.

If anyone ever asked me about a relationship I had or am in I would tell them what they wanted to hear, but I wouldn't gush into detail about every date me and the guy had. I've never been the type of person to trail on in a conversation unless I was really sleepy or excited.

So my advice to the girls who participated in "National Boyfriend Day:" I'm happy you're in love and you have someone very special in your life, but if they are the most perfect person as is, then why do you have to brag about it? It's your boyfriend enough already?

That's right I make a damn good point.

When Your Expectations are Too Damn High!

Now I understand that most girls have already picked out EXACTLY  what their husband is going to be like. For example, My kick- ass friend Marrissa has decided to quit high school boys, and move on to Russian hockey players, which I fully support. Since I am from Boston there is nothing I find more attractive than having your nose broken because you got hit in the face with a  stick. However the kind of unreal expectations some girls have fore men is bizarre, even to me. Don't get me wrong Marrissa may seem kind of dreaming when she says "Russian Hockey Players," but I know Marrissa, and any guys would be lucky to have her. My friend Kate on the other hand...

My friend Kate and I have known each other for a really long time. Recently however we have been butting-heads in a few arguments. One of the arguments I m going to shine a light on today, and this argument involves the big S-E-X.

My friend Kate is under the impression that you can find ANY MAN who is willing to wait until marriage to have sex with you. I'm not disagreeing with her there are men who will wait until marriage, but those men are way too hard to find.

Now lets look at  all the things wrong with Kate's ideal man. First, and I'm not trying to stereotype men as "sex-crazy", but men will usually not stick around with a girl unless they are getting some sort of action.

Ladies I'm not saying you should drop your panties the second a guy asks you to (have some dignity), but the idea of being in a relationship with a person and waiting until marriage to have sex is unlikely and I would not suggest it. A very wise woman once told me "Now Phoebe, I'm not telling you to have sex before you're married, because that would be wrong. However, you should always check the merchandise before you buy it."

The fact that Kate feels that way about relationships now, will change. Once she has a legitimate relationship with actual boys, in the real world (Sorry if you're reading this sweetie, but it's sort of true). I will admit that I felt the exact same way as Kate did, until recently. Now I feel that you're only young for the time being and you should just live it up. I'm not saying go out and have sex at the age of sixteen, because we are still too young for that. I'm just trying to say that such an expectation is ridiculous and is definitely not fit for the real world.

Don't base expectations for a relationship off of a fucking Disney movie.

 If you walk away from this post and your ideal man is still Prince Charming, Your expectations are too damn high...